Zoom jokes 🧑🏽‍💻 in 2025

I was just on a Zoom call that ended automatically after 40 minutes because the organizer was on a free tier. This is the single greatest advance to meeting productivity that I’ve ever seen. Would pay extra for this feature

True story. Chicago-area preschool teacher teaching remotely today because of the storms. Her dogs started barking like crazy, interrupting the Zoom. She looked out her window and told/apologized to the class that the shovelers were there. 4 year old classmate replies,
“Wow, your shovelers sound like dogs!”

Been laughing at that one all day.

A duck was standing on the curb
– Cars zoomed past the duck while he waited for a break in traffic. A chicken walked up to him and said “Don’t do it, man. You’ll never hear the end of it.”

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German log on to a zoom call…
The host wants to make sure their video is working so asks: “can you see me?”

The Englishman says “Yes”

The Frenchman says “Oui”

The Spaniard says “Sí”

And the German says “Ja”

​

I hope this doesn’t violate the 6th rule on this subreddit…

Yo mama so stupid
– She wears a face mask on a zoom meeting

President Joe Biden announced that he would give a free bottle of Bud Light to anyone who got a vaccine.
– Not to be outdone, the next day, the President Obrador of Mexico announced that he would give a bottle of Corona to anyone who got a vaccine.

The day after, the President Higgins of Ireland announced that he’d be giving out free bottles of water.

Biden and Obrador were confused and gave the Irish President a Zoom call. “We kinda expected you to give out free Guiness, being from Ireland and all”

The Irish President replied: “Well, if you guys aren’t giving out beer, then neither am I.”

A zoomer was invited to his millennial friend’s wedding, and was asked to give a toast.
– He didn’t avocado.

Murphy’s Nails
Two brothers start up a company that manufactures nails, one is in charge of sales and the other marketing. They needed a commercial, so the one in charge of marketing got to work.

A few weeks later he excitedly shows the footage to his brother. It starts with a wide shot of a mob of people on a hill, and zooms in. Eventually it is clear there are angry people, Roman soldiers, and 3 men on a cross, it zooms in further to one of the men who is Jesus. The shot zooms in even further to one of the nails in Jesus’ hand and on the head of the nail it reads “MURPHY’S NAILS”. The brother in charge of sales is in shock for a few moments before exploding, “you IDIOT now our nails are associated with the crucifixion of Jesus, fix this immediately or we are ruined!” His brother apologizes saying “sorry brother, give me a few days and I will fix this don’t worry!”.

Two days later the brother in charge of marketing tells his brother that he has fixed the commercial and it is ready to broadcast. It starts again with a wide shot of a mob of people, as it zooms in there are angry citizens and Roman soldiers chasing a figure in bloody robes that is clearly a depiction of Jesus. It finally zooms in on a lone Roman Centurion who shrugs at the camera and says “we should have used Murphy’s Nails”.

The worst part of having to do zoom classes out due to coronavirus is
– I keep getting bullet holes in my monitor

Being a freshman everyone always told me first year would go quickly…
but I didn’t realise it would ZOOM

(im sorry)

Not muting your mic is the new reply all

Why was CNN legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin jacking off on a Zoom call?
– Because last month they switched over from WebEx.

In need of your CORNIEST joke
My job does zoom meetings every day at 11, and tomorrow our ‘task’ is to come up with a corny joke. The cornier, the better. What do you got for me?

I can find jokes like this on google:
What do you call an alligator detective?

An investi-gator.

But I really wanna blow people away with how funny my (your) joke is

During a zoom band class the teacher asked a student to name different notes. As he was reading them he stopped suddenly and said, “I forgot what note this is”
– A bandmate put an F in the chat.

Being a freshman everyone always told me first year would go quickly…
– but I didn’t realise it would ZOOM

(im sorry)

“Zoom meetings” is a stupid name, and it’s branded. We should call it a bit more casual like “coworker video chat”…
– Or something shorter, like “co-vid”.

in an awkward zoom meeting and I ask my girlfriend “should i ask him how he’s doing?” & then I realize I’m not muted

The International Flat Earth Society Annual Conference was going to be held on Zoom this year.
– Unfortunately they all agreed on the same start time.