Jeep jokes in 2023

98% of all Jeeps ever made are still on the road today.
– The other 2% made it home.

What brand of car would the Roadrunner be?
– Jeep Jeep

I like my women like I like my jeep
Topless and easy to get into.

My wife crashed the car listening to Adele,
– She was rolling in the jeep

I bought my wife a beautiful diamond ring for her birthday.
A friend of mine said, “I thought she wanted one of those pretty 4-wheel drive vehicles?”
– “She did,” I replied, “But where in the world was I going to find a fake jeep!”

I just bought a SUV…
… Because it was a’going Jeep.

A man is driving down the motor way in the fast lane with a trailer full of monkeys
– he notices his friends jeep in the adjacent lane. He slows down and ushers his friend to pull down the window.

“John I’m in a massive rush, if I give you $50 could you bring these monkeys to the zoo?”

“No problem” replies John

About 4 hours later, the man drives the opposite direction on the motorway and is surprised to see John’s truck with the monkeys still in the back. He ushers John to roll down his window once more.

“John wtf are you doing? I gave you $50 to bring those monkeys to the zoo”.

“I did” replies John
“But I had money leftover so we are off to the cinema”.

What do you call a driving sheep?
– A Jeep

What’s the difference between a rental car and a Jeep?
– There are some places you wouldn’t take a Jeep.

A biologist, a statistician, a mathematician and a computer scientist are on a photo-safari in Africa
– They drive out on the savannah in their jeep, stop and scout the horizon with their binoculars.

The biologist says, “Look! There’s a herd of zebras! And there, in the middle, a white zebra! There are white zebra’s! We’ll be famous!”

The statistician explains, “It’s not significant. We only know there’s one white zebra.”

The mathematician corrects him: “Actually, we only know there exists a zebra, which is white on one side.”

The computer scientist exclaims “Oh, no! A special case!”

Nissan is rear-ending a Jeep in England.
Immediately from the Jeep are jumping two huge americans. They go over to the other car, pull the guy out, and start beating him. He is starting to scream:
“Come on, guys, stop!”
They continue.
He tries to stop them again, but they don’t listen.
Then he says:
“Come on, guys, please stop, we are in England!”
They answer to him:
“We don’t care that we are in England, this is how we do things in America, so you are not getting away with it.”
Then he shouts to them:
“Jesus, guys, you are bloody idiots, this is England, the driver is in the other seat!”

PS Sorry for the bad english, its not my native language.

So a guys goes into an auto parts store and asks for a fuel cap for his Jeep.
– The sales guy thinks for a moment and says, Yeah, O.K. that is a fair swap.

Old one
Did you hear about the accident at the army base?

A jeep ran over a box of popcorn & killed 2
kernals

Buddy Doesn’t Know How to Park a Car
So this is a true story.

I work a retail job. My friend neglected to properly put his Mustang in park in his space. It moved backwards across the lot and in to a customer’s Jeep Grand Cherokee. Luckily for him, the damage was not serious.

Unlucky for him, all of my coworkers (and a few customers) proceeded to mercilessly roast him on the showroom floor.

Looking to me to defend him, he asked, “why don’t you back me up?”

I said: “Back up seems to be the last thing you need, I’d just learn to roll with it, you might say I’m pretty neutral…”

Two boomers finish restoring an old Jeep and the first thing they do is drive to a nudist camp.
– They wanted to show off their old Willys.

I named my Jeep “Elizabeth Warren”
– It’s white, but still apparently still a Cherokee

An English, and Irishman and a Scotsman…
…are traveling through the desert in a jeep but eventually run out of fuel. They continue the journey by foot but only take 1 item each.
The Englishman takes an umbrella, when asked why he replies, “I can use it to provide shade against the hot sun”.
The Scotsman takes the biggest bottle of scotch, when asked why he replies, “To quench my thirst”.
The Irishman takes a door from the jeep, when asked why he replies, “When I get to hot, I can just roll down the window”.

A man with hearing problems crashed his car into an expensive car,
– The owner of the expensive car walks out of his house and says “give me 10.000 dollars or I’ll beat the hell out of you!!” The man replies “Woah woah buddy I don’t have that much, but let me call my son he trains dolphins”. The man calls his son and right as he was about to talk the owner of the expensive car yanks the phone out of his hand and says “So you train dolphins? Well bring me 10.000 dollars or I’ll beat your dad!”, the son answers “Okay give me 15 minutes and I’ll be there.” 15 minutes later the son pulls up with a jeep and out comes 10 men which start beating the owner of the car. Meanwhile the son walks over to his father and says “Dad I train Seals not dolphins.”.

This joke is funnier in Bulgarian but my dad told me this joke while on a trip and I thought it was dumb and quirky.