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Flower jokes ๐ŸŒป in 2024

For Valentineโ€™s Day, I received a bunch of flowers with the heads cut off.
– I think I was being stalked.

Wild(flower) about you.

What did the seed say to the flower?
– Okay Bloomer.

Most women would love to wake up on their birthday to the smell of fresh coffee, a nice breakfast, flowers and oral
– But not my Sister.

What did the flower say when he saw his date?
– I think youโ€™re dandy, and Iโ€™m not lion!

Did you hear about the lazy flower who finally got his act together?
– He just needed a kick in the bud.

Hosta la vista, baby!

Donโ€™t stop be-leafing.

If I were a flower, Iโ€™d be a dandelion
– Because I was created for you to blow me

My buddy just got kicked out of his house. His wife was hinting at Valentine’s day plans and asked him if he knew her favorite flower.
– “Gold Medal All Purpose” apparently wasn’t the answer.

What flower is on your face?
– Your tulips.

I canโ€™t wait to kiss your tulips.

My fear of roses is a thorny issue. Iโ€™m not sure what it stems from, but Iโ€™m stuck with it.

Pollen is what happens when flowers
– canโ€™t keep it in their plants

Why didnโ€™t the flower get a second date?
– He was a garden variety.

Wife: โ€œWhere did you put the flowers?โ€
– Me: โ€œIn the door.โ€
– Wife: โ€œWhat? How?โ€
– Me: โ€œRelax, itโ€™s easy because the door is ajar.โ€

Donโ€™t sing out of petunia.

Where does the gardener go to get rid of her unwanted flowers?
– Plant Parenthood

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