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Lobster jokes 🦞 in 2024

What would you call a lobster that’s always annoyed?
– A frustacean.

Where do lobsters and crabs avail the public transport vehicles from?
– The Bustacean.

Why does nobody like a lobster with a lisp?
– They are way too shellfish.

While playing hide and seek,
– the lobster screamed, “I can sea you!”

What did the tied up lobster fear more than boiling water?…
– Claw-Strophobia.

Did you hear about the lobster who was having a bad day yesterday?
– He had been feeling crabby since he woke up in the morning.

How much salt do lobsters use when cooking pasta?
– Just a pinch.

Given the terms “crab”, “tuna”, “lobster”, and “Chinese guy caught in an avalanche of boulders”, which does not fit?
– “tuna”. The other 3 are crushed asians.

What do you call a lobster wearing a Christmas hat?
– Santa Claws!

Have you found your lost lobster yet?
– No, it’s just a lost claws now.

Why did the lobster take such a long time to learn just the basics of the English alphabet?
– Probably because he spent a lot of years at C.

Why was the ocean screaming?
– You would too if you had lobsters on your bottom!

What Did Sean Connery Say When He Received A Free Order Of Lobster?
– “Would you like a bite? I’m not feeling shellfish today.”

Why were the lobsters scoring at the lowest end of the C?…
– That’s because they all dropped out of school.

How was your lobster last night?
– It was pretty rude, it kept imitating my accent.

Weren’t you a professional lobster fisherman?
– Yes, but it seems that living on my net income was harder than I thought beforehand.

What’s worse than lobsters on your pianos?
– Crabs on your organs.

Where does a lobster keep its clothes?
– In the clawset.

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