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Lobster jokes 🦞 in 2022

What would you call a lobster who’s uncomfortable with tight spaces?
– It’d be claw-strophobic.

Did you know that all lobsters are very sail-ective eaters?
– They only go for s-pacific foods.

What’s worse than lobsters on your piano?
– Crabs on your organ.

Why don’t lobsters like tennis?
– Because they are afraid of the net!

Why didn’t the crab and lobster get along?…
– They were too shellfish.

Which passengers were happiest when the Titanic started sinking?
– The lobsters in the kitchen.

I went to a seafood restaurant and asked how they prepared the lobster.
– The waiter got quiet and simply said, “We just tell him the truth, man. ‘This is the end of the line.’”

What’s the difference between a lobster and a Chinese man who’s been run over by a bus?
– One’s a crustacean, the other’s a crushed Asian.

What would a lobster want with a smartphone?
– It takes a lot of shellfies.

What would you get when you cross a telephone with a lobster?
– A snappy talk.

What did the husband lobster say to his wife when they were arguing?
– He said, “I don’t think I sea it quite that way.”

A man ordered lobster for dinner.
– When the waiter brought it to him, he complained, “Hey, this lobster only has one claw!”
The waiter explained, “That lobster was in a fight.”
“OK, then,” replied the man. “Bring me the winner!”

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