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Brain jokes 🧠🤯 in 2022

What is special about these words: job, polish, herb?
– They are pronounced differently when the first letter is capitalized.

What has no hands but might knock on your door, and if it does you better open up?
– Opportunity

During which month do people sleep the least?
– February (there are usually fewer nights in February).

What would you find in the middle of Toronto?
– The letter “o”

What did the left side of the brain say to the right side of the brain?
– Let’s split.

What is harder to catch the faster you run?
– Your breath

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a long one. Michael J. Fox has a short one. Madonna does not use hers. Bill Clinton always uses his. The Pope never uses his. What is it?
– Last name

On which side of a chicken are there more feathers?
– The outside

A sundial has the fewest moving parts of any timepiece. Which has the most?
– An hourglass — it has thousands of grains of sand.

Why was the brain sad when it lost its locomotive?
– Because it lost its train of thought.

I have a big mouth and I am also quite loud! I am NOT a gossip but I do get involved with everyone’s dirty business. What am I?
– A vacuum cleaner

You’re standing in a hallway with three light switches on the wall, each of which turns on a different lamp inside a closed room. You can’t see inside the room, and you can’t open the door except to enter the room. You can enter the room only once, and when you do, all the lamps must be turned off. How can you tell which switch turns on which lamp?
– Turn on the right switch and leave it on for two minutes. After two minutes, turn on the middle switch and leave it on for one minute. When that minute is up, turn off both switches and enter the room. One light bulb will be hot (1st switch) and one will be warm (2nd switch). The cold bulb will correspond to the switch you didn’t turn on.

What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
– A blackboard

Turn me on my side and I am everything. Cut me in half and I am nothing. What am I?
– The number 8.

I am taken from a mine, and shut up in a wooden case, from which I am never released, and yet I am used by almost everybody. What am I?
– Pencil lead

What do you throw out when you want to use it but take in when you don’t want to use it?
– An anchor

What is made of water but if you put it into water it will die?
– An ice cube

If you drop me I’m sure to crack, but give me a smile and I’ll always smile back. What am I?
– A mirror.

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