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October jokes in 2023

JASON, it takes 5 months to spell it. (July, August, September, October, November)

Top 10 Pumpkin Jokes

I found a ghost passed out on my stairs last night.

October 31st: 101 Halloween Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.”

Top 10 Full Moon Jokes: Why wasn’t the moon hungry?…
– Because it was full!

It’s scared the dog so badly he’s knocked the Christmas tree over.

What’s orange and black and comes together in October to really terrify people?
– Donald and Kanye

How do you fix a broken pumpkin?…
– With a pumpkin patch.

One day in October, Humpty Dumpty went to the clothes store…
He picks out a nice sweater, a couple pair of socks, a coat, etc. He pays for them and leaves. He heads out and goes to get groceries, and buys milk, eggs, tuna fish, matches, and a single pumpkin. On his way home now, he sees a stray cat in the cold. Feeling charitable, he offers it some tuna fish, and decides to take it home. Now home, he takes a match and lights his fireplace, gets a blanket, and wraps the cat with it. It falls asleep. He then takes the pumpkin and begins carving it out to be a Jack o’ lantern. He takes a picture and sends it to a friend, who gives it a 10/10. Now tired, he wraps himself in a blanket, lies in a chair next to the fireplace, with the cat sitting cozy in his lap.

He thinks to himself before he drifts asleep…

“Humpty Dumpty has had a great fall!”

An Alaskan was on trial in Anchorage.
The prosecutor leaned menacingly toward him and asked:

“Where were you on the night of October to April?”

October 9th International Egg Day: Top 10 Egg Jokes: What day do eggs hate most?…
– Fry-day!

A man meets a Native American with flawless memory. When he meets this Native American Chief he notices he is older than most. He asks the Chief many questions, and the Chief replies flawlessly to each one. Then he thinks of a random date and asks the Chief, “What did you eat on October 18, 1987?” The Chief replies “Eggs”. He leaves the Chief and goes home. A year later he meets the Chief again. Feeling respectful he approaches the Chief, and says “How!” and the Chief says, “Scrambled!”

Attention all officers!
Attention all officers! It is now October 5th. Over.

*10-4, over*

Me: You’re today’s date
She: What?

Me: You’re a solid 11/11

She: What kind of a rating scale is out of 11?

Me: I… I had cold feet on 10th October

October 18th: Chocolate Cupcake Day: Top 10 Cupcake Jokes: What does the best hockey team get for their end-of-season party?…
– Stanley Cupcakes. (Hockey Jokes)

I’d like to thank all the girls on Tinder for helping to make my October extra spooky…
– All that ghosting really got me in the Halloween spirit.

This is getting ridiculous..
– Only two days into October and now even COVID is pumpkin spiced.

What reads and lives in an apple?…
– A bookworm.

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