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October jokes in 2022

October 6th: World Smile Day Jokes: Top 10 Smile Jokes: What is the longest word in the English Dictionary?…
– Smiles because there is a mile between the first letter and the last. (Grammar Jokes & Track Jokes)

I hate that SEPTember, OCTober, NOVember and DECember aren’t the 7th, 8th, 9th and 10th months…
– Whoever messed this up should be stabbed

As of 2021, Halloween has not fallen on Friday the 13th for the last 666 years!
– Probably because it’s always October 31st. Unless you’re dyslexic I guess.

Trump says he will bring Jobs back to America;
The problem is he died on October 5th 2011, and I’ve never seen anyone brought back like that

Is it just me or is the 15th a bad day to have Prime day… The 11th, 13th, 17th, or 19th would have worked so much better.

Got my covid shot scheduled for October 31
– It’s a Booster

What is a clinical trial done in October called?
– a trick or treatment.

October 31st: 101 Halloween Jokes: The nurse walked into the busy doctor’s office and said, “Doctor, the invisible man is here.” The doctor replied, “Sorry, I can’t see him.”

End of the month?
– I guess you could say October is…

October is finally here…
– Can somebody finally wake Billie joe Armstrong up? Sick of being reminded.

How do young fish get to school?…
– By octobus.

What is a clinical trial done in October called?
– A trick or treatment.

Congratulations, you made it to October.
– Welcome to level 10 of JUMANJI.

What’s the difference between a Yankee stadium hotdog and a Fenway park hotdog?
– You can buy a Yankee stadium hotdog in October

October 16th: National Boss Day Jokes: The CEO of a large company was walking to the cafeteria along with two of his secretaries. Upon tripping on a bottle, a genie appeared and asked the threesome if they would like to each make a wish. The first secretary excitedly exclaimed, “I wish I was on a beach in a tropical island!” Immediately her wish was granted. The next secretary proclaimed, “I wish I was on a tour of France!” Immediately her wish too, was granted. Being that it was now his turn to make a wish the CEO exclaimed “I want the two of them back in their offices right after lunch!” #NationalBossDay

It’s October 1st and we all know what that means to stores around the world.
*”It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas…”*

A little son asks his father what a communism is…
…and the father starts explaining:

“Well, son, once upon a time there was this man named Lenin, except his real name was Uljanov. He had a friend named Stalin, except he wasn’t his friend and his name was Dzugashvili. They started the October revolution, except it wasn’t a revolution, it was a coup, and it wasn’t in october, it was in november…”

“Jesus, dad, what a mess!” proclaims the son.

“Son, now you understand communism!”

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?…
– To make up for his miserable summer.

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