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Clean jokes in 2024

What falls in winter but never gets hurt
-The snow!

How do you learn to be a trash collector?
-Just pick it up as you go along.

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
-They both got 6 months.

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
-Because they make up everything!

What is an astronaut’s favourite part on a computer?
-The space bar.

When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
-When the punchline is a parent.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar
-“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

Which bird has the worst manners?
-Mocking birds.

Want to hear a roof joke?
-The first one’s on the house.

I couldn’t believe that the highway department called my dad a thief.
-But when I got home, all the signs were there.

Rest in peace to boiling water.
-You will be mist.

When is it time to go to the dentist?
-Tooth hurty (2:30)

Never criticize someone until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
-That way, when you criticize them, you’ll be a mile away, and you’ll have their shoes.

I got my husband a fridge for his birthday.
-His face lit up when he opened it.

What did the left eye say to the right eye?
-Between you and me, something smells.

Why did the nurse need a red pen at work?
In case she needed to draw blood.

What’s green, has six legs, and if it drops out of a tree onto you will kill you?
-A pool table.

Why did the picture go to prison?
-Because it was framed!

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