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Clean jokes in 2023

What falls in winter but never gets hurt
-The snow!

Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
-Because they make up everything!

What is an astronaut’s favourite part on a computer?
-The space bar.

How do you learn to be a trash collector?
-Just pick it up as you go along.

Did you hear about the two guys who stole a calendar?
-They both got 6 months.

Which bird has the worst manners?
-Mocking birds.

When does a joke become a “dad” joke?
-When the punchline is a parent.

Helvetica and Times New Roman walk into a bar
-“Get out of here!” shouts the bartender. “We don’t serve your type.”

I went in to a pet shop. I said, “Can I buy a goldfish?” The guy said, “Do you want an aquarium?”
-I said, “I don’t care what star sign it is.”

I waited all night to see where the sun would rise…
-…And then it dawned on me.

I saw a wino eating grapes.
-I told him, you gotta wait.

What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
-This tastes a little funny.

I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him.
-I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

What is the resemblance between a green apple and a red apple?
-They’re both red except for the green one.

How do you clean a chicken?
– An egg wash!

Why don’t ants ever get sick?
-Because they have little anty bodies.

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom?
-Because the “P” is silent!

What do you call an apology written in dots and dashes?
-Re-Morse code.

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