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Grandpa jokes 👴 in 2023

Grandpa Mike died this weekend.
– He led a simple life, loved by family and friends while enjoying a long career as a crop duster. In accordance with his final wishes, his cremated remains will be mixed with water and sprayed over the seashore where he spent his final days. He will be mist.

Grandpa asked me how to print on his new computer.
I said: “Just control-p.”

He said: “I haven’t been able to do that for years!”

Why did grandpa’s origami business go out?
– Because it folded.

Why did grandma call grandpa spiderman?
– Because she said, “That boy finds it difficult to get out of the bathtub”.

Why should you shout-out to your grandpa?
– Because that is the only way, he can hear you.

Today is the last time I will see my 80 year old grandpa
– Because tomorrow he turns 81!

My friends Grandpa told us this when we were about 14, What did the one leg say to the other leg?
– Check out Shorty he’s growing a beard!

Why did grandpa like to wear glasses while collecting take out for dinner?
– He goes to pick up the dinner with a contact-less drive-through.

What did grandpa say when everyone told him my father looked like him?
– He said, “He’s a poor guy, don’t worry he’ll grow out of it”.

Still haven’t decided where to go for Easter … The Living Room or The Bedroom.

Grandpa fell in to paprika once …
– Now he is a seasoned veteran.

My grandpa told me this one
– Where do pirates get there hooks from…

The second hand store

How can God and grandpa be similar?
– Because they both are old.

Why did grandpa put wheels on his wheelchair?
– He wanted to rock n roll.

What would a lawnmower grandfather’s epitaph be like?
– ‘Now he’s lawn-gone’.

Why couldn’t grandpa find freedom hen he left to travel abroad?
– Because he said that grandma followed him and arrived on the very next boat!

Two grandpas were sitting together. One turns to the other and says, “I am in my eighties now, and everything hurts. You are around the same age as me. Do you feel the same?”
– The second grandpa answers, “I feel the same as a new-born. No teeth, no hair, and I am pretty sure I just peed in my pants.”

Grandpa died in the hospital because they had the wrong blood type on record
– It was a Type O.

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