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Squirrel Jokes 🐿️ in 2022

HELP!! Squirrels are chasing me!
-They think I’m nuts!

How come when a video of a squirrel putting a nut in a dog gets 18k upvotes and is called “Cute”
-but when I do it it’s a “heinous act” and my dog gets taken away?

Because there is no try.

you know I want an ADHD cure. when?
-Squirrel

A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”.
-Don’t believe him, he was a nut.

What is squirrels’s least favourite month?
-November

What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
-An animal that never forgets where it’s hidden its nuts.

Because Yoda was in charge.
-Why was the joke in the punchline?

How do you get a squirrel down from a tree?
-You pull down you pants and show him your nuts.

If you were trying to seduce a squirrel
-You’d have to be pretty nuts

What did the squirrel say to the police dog?
– Stop barking up the wrong tree and don’t act like a nut.

Psychologist: What brings you here today?
-Squirrel: I realized I am what I eat…..Nuts.

Did you know?
-Did you know: A squirrel’s brain actually increases in size during winter to remember where they buried their nuts.
The technical term for it is post-nut clarity

Have you heard about the new squirrel diet?
– It’s just nuts.

Why did the squirrel do the backstroke?
– He wanted to keep his nuts dry.

What’s 40+40+SQUIRREL!
-80HD

My daughter made up that joke when she was 8.

What happens when more than one squirrel acts like a nut?
-There ends up being a squarrel.

What do you call a squirrel with wings?
– A flying squirrel, it’s pretty self-explanatory.

I just got thrown out of my local park for arranging the squirrels by height…
-Apparently, they didn’t like my critter sizing.

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