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Squirrel Jokes 🐿️ in 2023

How come when a video of a squirrel putting a nut in a dog gets 18k upvotes and is called “Cute”
-but when I do it it’s a “heinous act” and my dog gets taken away?

Because there is no try.

A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”.
-Don’t believe him, he was a nut.

HELP!! Squirrels are chasing me!
-They think I’m nuts!

What is squirrels’s least favourite month?

What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
-An animal that never forgets where it’s hidden its nuts.

Because Yoda was in charge.
-Why was the joke in the punchline?

you know I want an ADHD cure. when?

How large is a squirrels home?
-Approximately 4 squirrel feet

Two cows are talking in the barn
-Cow A: Yo, what do you think about the “mad cow” disease?”

Cow B: The f*ck do I care, I’m a squirrel.

What do you call a squirrel that solves crimes?
-Squirrel-lock Holmes.

A joke my 9 yr old told at a BBQ we had over the weekend. He brought down the house.
-Why do squirrels swim on their backs?

To keep their nuts dry!

Why did the squirrel bury the tin of fish?
– Because tuna spelt backwards is “a nut”.

What do squirrels eat?
-Nuts 🥜

What does a squirrel and a cigarette have in common?
-They’re both safe until you light them on fire and put them in your mouth.

What did the squirrel say to the psychologist?
– I think I’m nuts.

Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
-Because their nuts won’t fit

What do you call a squirrel in a church?
-A chipmunk!

What does the squirrel do on his computer late at night?
– He nuts.

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