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Squirrel Jokes 🐿️ in 2024

How come when a video of a squirrel putting a nut in a dog gets 18k upvotes and is called “Cute”
-but when I do it it’s a “heinous act” and my dog gets taken away?

Because there is no try.

A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”.
-Don’t believe him, he was a nut.

HELP!! Squirrels are chasing me!
-They think I’m nuts!

What is squirrels’s least favourite month?
-November

What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
-An animal that never forgets where it’s hidden its nuts.

Because Yoda was in charge.
-Why was the joke in the punchline?

you know I want an ADHD cure. when?
-Squirrel

Squirrels don’t have children….
– They ALWAYS swallow the nut.

What did the romantic squirrel give to his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day?
-Forget-me-nuts.

One time there was a squirrel who died
-It was funny because the squirrel got dead.

What do blind squirrels and testicular cancer patients have in common?
-They can’t find their nuts

I was chasing a squirrel in my back yard. The squirrel ran up a tree.
– My car was totaled.

What do you call a squirrel who is in charge of a bank?
– A branch manager.

What do you get when you cross a spider and a squirrel?
-A bug that will climb your leg and eat your nuts

Why don’t squirrels have any friends?
-Because they drive everyone nuts.

What would you name a mumafied squirrel?
-Perhaps… Mumford?

If you listen closely you can hear the polite squirrel swear
-“Aww nuts!”
(its name is probably Carl)

Where do squirrels go for their summer holidays?
– To beech trees.

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