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Squirrel Jokes 🐿️ in 2023

How come when a video of a squirrel putting a nut in a dog gets 18k upvotes and is called “Cute”
-but when I do it it’s a “heinous act” and my dog gets taken away?

Because there is no try.

A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”.
-Don’t believe him, he was a nut.

HELP!! Squirrels are chasing me!
-They think I’m nuts!

What is squirrels’s least favourite month?

What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
-An animal that never forgets where it’s hidden its nuts.

Because Yoda was in charge.
-Why was the joke in the punchline?

you know I want an ADHD cure. when?

What’s a squirrel’s favorite channel?
From my six year old who read it at the doctor office today.

What did the racing pigeon say to the racing squirrel?
-Don’t act like a nut and try to beat me because you walnut be able to go faster than me.

How do you catch a squirrel for the holidays?
– Climb a tree and act like nutmeg.

Why did the police arrest the squirrels in the park?
– For busting a nut in public view

What’s the difference between a squirrel and a cannibal necrophiliac?
-One eats nuts and berries, the other nuts, eats then buries.

What is a squirrel’s favourite number?

Why do squirrels swim on their backs?
-To keep their nuts dry.

What type of TV do squirrels watch?

How do you get a squirrel to like you?
– Act like a nut 🥜

my gf asked me why I call her squirrel
-me: because you’re short, cute, jumpy, have a bushy tail, and are always on my nuts.

What did the squirrel say when he was late for work?
– I’m so sorry, but the traffic was nuts.

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