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Squirrel Jokes 🐿️ in 2024

How come when a video of a squirrel putting a nut in a dog gets 18k upvotes and is called “Cute”
-but when I do it it’s a “heinous act” and my dog gets taken away?

Because there is no try.

A wise squirrel once said “you are what you eat”.
-Don’t believe him, he was a nut.

HELP!! Squirrels are chasing me!
-They think I’m nuts!

What is squirrels’s least favourite month?

What do you get if you cross a squirrel with an elephant?
-An animal that never forgets where it’s hidden its nuts.

Because Yoda was in charge.
-Why was the joke in the punchline?

you know I want an ADHD cure. when?

What does a squirrel and a cigarette have in common?
-They’re both safe until you light them on fire and put them in your mouth.

What did the squirrel say to the psychologist?
– I think I’m nuts.

Why don’t squirrels wear skinny jeans?
-Because their nuts won’t fit

What do you call a squirrel in a church?
-A chipmunk!

What does the squirrel do on his computer late at night?
– He nuts.

What do you call a squirrel that goes to space?
-An astro-nut

Cigarettes are like squirrels.
-Theyre perfectly harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire.

Why don’t squirrels have any friends?
Because they drive everyone nuts.

Why didn’t the squirrel wanna go swimming because
-he didnt wanna get his nuts wet

What’s a squirrels favorite way to watch TV?

A joke my 8 y/o daughter made up this morning. Thought it was pretty good!

What did the squirrel say the time she managed to accidentally catch her tail in the door?
– It won’t be long now.

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