Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Weekend jokes in 2023

What did a worker say to another worker who was not feeling like working on a Friday?
– “Just a few more hours of work left, weekend make it!”

Is Good Friday a sad day?
– Yes, but the next day’s a Sadderday.

Wasted weekend
– A wasted weekend is not a waste of a weekend

What comes after Black Friday?
– Broke Saturday.

Why was the student so happy to go back home from school?
– Because it was Friyay.

My boss said, “I find it highly suspicious that you are only sick on weekdays.”
– I said, “It must be my weekend immune system.”

I hosted a terrible orgy last weekend
– Nobody came

4 college guys go on a weekend road trip.
They are having such a good time that they decide to play hooky and skip out on their Monday exam in psychology. They all send their professor an email saying they had a flat tire while out of town and the professor said no problem, unexpected things happen. They could take it on Tuesday.

Celebrating their white lie they had another big night out and headed back on Monday. When they got back on campus Tuesday they went and saw their professor and she asked if they were all right, thanked them for letting her know ahead of time, and told them to get ready for the test.

Inwardly laughing they were separated into four separate rooms so as not to cheat. All four flipped over the sheet and saw only two questions:

For 5% credit, what does DSM stand for in the DSM-5?

For 95% credit, which tire went flat?

What is the best thing to avoid on Friday the 13th?
– Superstitions.

What do you call it when you have a good philosophical conversation with your friends on a Friday afternoon over a fast-food meal?
– A deep fry-day.

My gardener is entering his Bonsai plants in a contest this weekend.
– I’m rooting for him.

What are you going to do in the weekend?
“I’m going to buy glasses.”

“And then what?”

“Then I’ll see.”

I went fishing at the weekend and there was this bloke splashing about in the middle of the lake shouting, “I can’t swim! I can’t swim!”
– “It’s alright, mate,” I shouted, pointing at a nearby sign, “It says no swimming anyway.”

Where can you have a Fry-day every day?
– In Grease.

What is an egg’s least favorite holiday?
– Good fry-day.

Do you know why I stay up late on weekends?
– Because sleep is for the week.

I get so lonely on the weekends….
that I log into all my online accounts so my phone text tone goes off with authentication codes that I can pretend are my friends texting me.

Where does a nerdy person spend their Black Friday?
– Geology museum because they get great shales there.

Most Popular Categories

🡫 See all categories 🡫

  • Submit a joke
  • Follow us on Facebook