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Vegetable jokes 🥕🍅🥒 in 2023

What did the lettuce say to the celery?
– Quit stalking me.

Why couldn’t the lettuce relax?
– Because she wasn’t cool as a cucumber.

Anyone who thinks onions are the only vegetable that makes you cry
– has never been hit in the face with a turnip.

What’s the most hated vegetable in the world?
– Kim Jong un

Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares?
– Because they take up too mushroom…(mushrooms aren’t strictly a vegetable but we do let them in Secret Seed Society, because they are good friends with vegetables).

What did the carrot say to the celery?
– I know I’m popular, but please stop stalking me.

What is the strongest vegetable?
– A muscle sprout.

What is a chickens favorite vegetable?
– Bawk choy

What’s Bruno Mars favorite vegetable trick?
– 24 carrot magic

When do you know a snail is lying?
– When he tells you he’s not at home!

Why is lettuce the kindest vegetable?
– Because it’s got heart.

What do vegetables want more than anything in the whole world?
– Peas on earth.

What do you call a song about fruits and vegetables?
– Melon-cauli

What did the vegetable shout at a party?
– Turn-ip!!!

What is green and goes to summer camp?
– A brussel scout!

Why did the tomato blush?
– Because it saw the salad dressing.

What’s Michelle Obama’s favourite vegetable
– Barackoli

What is a hydraulic press’s favorite vegetable?

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