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Trucker jokes 🚚 in 2023

What is the truck drivers favorite part of the movies?
– The trailers

What was the grain truckers favorite band?
– Haulin’ oats.

What was the trucker’s excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers?
– “It was a hard drive”

Why can’t test tube babies be truck drivers?
– They aren’t Peterbuilt!

What do you call a queue of trucks?
– A pickup line

What does a Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common?
– They both have a dirt bag in them.

20 Tons of Canaries
There was a man driving down the road behind an 18 wheeler; at every stoplight the trucker would get out of the cab, run back and bang on the trailer door.
After seeing this at several intersections in a row the motorist followed him until he pulled into a parking lot.

When they both had come to a stop the truck driver once again jumped out and started banging on the trailer door.
The motorist went up to him and said, “I don’t mean to be nosey but why do you keep banging on that door?”
To which the trucker replied, “Sorry, can’t talk now, I have 20 tons of canaries and a 10 ton limit, so I have to keep half of them flying at all times.”

How do you make a million dollars in trucking?
– You start with two million dollars.

What do ya get when you cross a Peterbuilt, a Kenworth and a Freightshaker?
– A Peter-Worth-Shakin!

What do a truck driver and a slightly aroused man have in common?
– They both have a semi.

After the COVID-19 pandemic winds down, we should honor truck drivers with a national holiday on October 4th.
– A big 10-4, if you will.

A doctor sees a “brains for sale” sign in front of a shop.
– He goes in and sees a doctor’s brain is $8 a pound, paramedic brain is $12 a pound, nurses brain is $30 a pound, truck driver is $40, and a lawyer brain is $90 a pound. He asks the person behind the cash register, “Why is a doctor brain worth $8 a pound but a lawyer brain is worth $90?” The cashier responds, “Do you know how many lawyers it takes to make a pound?”

What’s a truckers favorite kind of house?
– The ones with the long haul ways!

A police officer was monitoring the highway…
….When he saw a pickup truck going 20 miles below the speed limit.

 

The officer pulls behind the truck and pulls the truck over.

 

As he walked up to the driver, he noticed that the trunk bed was filled with penguins! Doing as penguins would waddling around and such.

 

The officer goes to the truck driver and says “You cant be driving with all these penguins! They gotta go the zoo!”

 

The truck driver apologies and promises to head straight to the zoo.

 

Next day, the officer sees the same truck going 20 below the speed-limit again!

 

The officer pulls the truck over. As the officer walks up he notices that the trunk is still filled with penguins, but this time they are all wearing sunglasses.

 

The officer is furious. He tells the driver “You think you can pull one over on me! I told you to take the penguins to the zoo!”

 

The driver looks up and says “I took them yesterday! Today i’m taking them to the beach.”

A priest and a pastor…
… are standing by the side of the road holding up a sign that reads, ‘The end is near! Turn around now before it’s too late!’

They hold up the sign to cars passing by.

“Leave us alone, you religious nuts!” yells the first driver as he speeds by.

From around the curve they hear screeching tires and a big splash.

“Do you think,” says the priest to the pastor, “we should just put up a sign that says ‘Bridge Out’ instead?”

Truckers are getting into trouble with environmentalists for animal cruelty these days.
– Because their trucks don’t go fast enough to kill the bugs. Only crush their tiny legs and arms.

A police officer tells a man. “I’m sorry but sir but it looks like your wife was hit by a truck.”
– And he says “Ya, but she has a great personality.”

I called a suicide hotline in Iraq.
– They got excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

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