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Trucker jokes 🚚 in 2022

What is the truck drivers favorite part of the movies?
– The trailers

What do you call a queue of trucks?
– A pickup line

What do a truck driver and a slightly aroused man have in common?
– They both have a semi.

What was the grain truckers favorite band?
– Haulin’ oats.

Why can’t test tube babies be truck drivers?
– They aren’t Peterbuilt!

How do you make a million dollars in trucking?
– You start with two million dollars.

What does a Schneider truck and an orange barrel have in common?
– They both have a dirt bag in them.

What was the trucker’s excuse when he was late with a shipment of computers?
– “It was a hard drive”

I have two friends. An astronaut and a truck driver.
– I like the truck driver more because he seems more down to earth than the astronaut.

What do you call a truck towing a smaller truck?
– A mother trucker

– A little bit of trucker humor, only I’m not a trucker, so you figure it out.

Cop pulls over a trucker and says, “Papers.”
– The trucker looks at the cop and says, “Scissors! I win!” Then he just drives away.

I was sitting at a stoplight yesterday, minding my own business…
…when a carload of gun toting, young and very loud tea partiers, shouting anti-Obama, anti-Muslim slogans, with a Gadsden flag duct taped on the trunk and a confederate flag taped to the hood, “All I need to know about Islam, I learned on 9/11” spray painted to the side, pulled up and stopped next to me.

Suddenly, they all yelled “YEEHAW” and took off before the light changed. Out of nowhere, and 18 wheeler came speeding through the intersection and ran directly over their car, crushing it completely, and killing everybody in it instantly.

For several long moments, I sat in shock. I thought “Damn, that could have been me”.

So today, I woke up bright and early. I went out, and applied for a job as a truck driver.

What’s the difference between a Peterbilt and a porcupine?
– On the porcupine the prick is on the outside.

A trucker pulls over at a diner and orders a cheeseburger, a cup of coffee and one slice of cherry pie. While he’s waiting for his food, three huge bikers come in. When the trucker’s food comes, he doesn’t get the chance to eat it. The first biker takes the trucker’s cheeseburger. The second biker takes the trucker’s coffee. And the third biker takes the trucker’s slice of cherry pie. The trucker says nothing, gets up and walks out of the diner. A guy at the counter says to the cashier, “Wasn’t really much of man, huh? He didn’t do anything.”
– The cashier only replies, “Yeah, not much of a driver either. He just backed into three motorcycles while pulling out of here.”

A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday
– A truck loaded with thousands of copies of Roget’s Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load. Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyses, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

Why are truck drivers always in accidents?
– Because they are semi drivers.

What does a woman trucker and a hockey team have in common?
– They both shower after 3 periods!

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