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Chemistry jokes 🧪 in 2024

What is the chemical formula for “banana”?
-BaNa2

What do you do with a sick chemist?
-If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium!

Why shouldn’t you drink water while studying?
-It decreases your concentration!

What did one ion say to the other?
-I’ve got my ion you.

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?
-You may have graduated, but I’ve got many degrees.

Why should you go drinking with neutrons? Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!
– Because wherever they go, there’s no charge!

When one physicist asks another, “What’s new?” what’s the typical response?
-C over lambda.

What did silver say to gold at the bar?
-Au, get outta here!

Why are so many chemists addicted to alcohol?
-Because they are sure alcohol is a solution.

What do you do with a sick chemist?
-If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.

Oxygen, hydrogen, sulfur, sodium, and phosphorous walk into a bar
-OH SNaP!” says the bartender.

What do you call an acid with attitude?
-A-mean-o-acid

Why did the chemist sole and heel his shoes with silicone rubber?
-To reduce his carbon footprint.

Why did the white bear dissolve in water?
-Because it was polar!

Why Did the White Bear Dissolve in Water?
-Because it was a polar bear.

Don’t trust atoms,
-they make up everything.

How did the chemist survive the famine?
-By subsisting on titrations.

If you’re not part of the solution
-…you’re part of the precipitate.

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