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Chemistry jokes 🧪 in 2024

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
-They’re cheaper than day rates.

What is the name of 007’s Eskimo cousin?
– Polar Bond.

Wait, are all these jokes too basic for you?
-Because I see no reaction.

What do chemists call a benzene ring with iron atoms replacing the carbon atoms?
-A ferrous wheel.

Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
-He just couldn’t put it down!

What did the atom say at the electron sale?Office and they’re gonna pay.
-One cation’s trash is another anion’s treasure.

If H20 is water, what is H204?
-Drinking, bathing, washing, swimming, etc.

How did the hipster chemist burn his hand on the beaker?
-He picked it up before it was cool.

What kind of fish has two sodium atoms?
-2Na.

I asked the guy sitting next to me if he had any Sodium Hypobromite…
-He said NaBrO

What kind of dogs do chemists have?
-Laboratory Retrievers

What do you call a tooth in a glass of water?
-A one molar solution.

If H2O is the formula for water, what is the formula for ice?
-H2O cubed.

The optimist sees the glass half full. The pessimist sees the glass half empty, but how does the chemist see it?
-Completely full, half with liquid and half with air.

What did the chemist say when there was an explosion in the lab?
– Oxidants happen.

What did one titration say to the other?
-“Let’s meet at the endpoint.”

I want to write some jokes about the periodic table
-… But I don’t think I’ll be in my element.

What do you call a clown in prison?
-Silicon

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