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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2023

Someone stole the succulent plants from the house next door the other day. That was aloe move.

A group of cacti was going to a music show, and one of their friends was late. So they called him and said, “Will you please come prickly?”

What does a cactus smell like when you get too close?
– Blood.

Why do coyotes howl in the night?
– Because they can only see the cacti in the day.

I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he’ll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said: “I hope your birthday party planning is on point.”

What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
– “Cactus if you can!”

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
– Is that you, Dad?

What do you call a rude cactus?
– A prick.

The male cactus decided to propose to the female cactus. He went to her and said, “I’m ready to go from cact-i to cact-us.”

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology.

Is there something wrong with your cactus?
– Yes, but I can’t put my finger on it.

A man decided to put a few succulents at the front of all his windows. When his wife asked why he did it, he told her, “Because darling, aloe view.”

We went to the comedy show last week where a comedian told many cactus jokes. It was not all that it was cactus to be.

What did the happy cactus say to the grumpy cactus?
– Don’t be so prickly.

What did the food critic call the cactus pie?
– A succulent meal.

Cactus makes perfect.

Two cacti were getting married. The husband cactus said in his vows, “I promise never to desert you.”

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