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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2024

The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said: “I hope your birthday party planning is on point.”

What do you call a rude cactus?
– A prick.

The male cactus decided to propose to the female cactus. He went to her and said, “I’m ready to go from cact-i to cact-us.”

Someone stole the succulent plants from the house next door the other day. That was aloe move.

A group of cacti was going to a music show, and one of their friends was late. So they called him and said, “Will you please come prickly?”

What does a cactus smell like when you get too close?
– Blood.

Why do coyotes howl in the night?
– Because they can only see the cacti in the day.

I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he’ll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
– “Cactus if you can!”

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
– Is that you, Dad?

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology.

What’s the one job you shouldn’t give a cactus at your birthday party if he asks how he can help?
– Blowing up the balloons!

I hope your birthday is on point.

I can be a little prickly.

The newlywed cactus couple were on their honeymoon. The wife cactus told her husband, “I’m so glad that we pricked each other.”

The wife cactus was upset, and when the husband asked her what happened, she told him, “You’ve been taking me for planted.”

Knock knock. Who’s there? Not a cactus because cacti can’t knock.

The coach was choosing players for the baseball team. The little overly excited cactus started yelling, “Prick me! Prick me!”

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