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Cactus jokes 🌵🌵 in 2023

The cactus who was turning 16, decided to throw a sweet 16 birthday party. Her friend said: “I hope your birthday party planning is on point.”

What do you call a rude cactus?
– A prick.

The male cactus decided to propose to the female cactus. He went to her and said, “I’m ready to go from cact-i to cact-us.”

Someone stole the succulent plants from the house next door the other day. That was aloe move.

A group of cacti was going to a music show, and one of their friends was late. So they called him and said, “Will you please come prickly?”

What does a cactus smell like when you get too close?
– Blood.

Why do coyotes howl in the night?
– Because they can only see the cacti in the day.

I heard about a man that fell on a cactus the other day. He said he’ll be sure to pay attention a lot more sharply next time.

What did the little cacti say to the big cactus when they were running away?
– “Cactus if you can!”

What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
– Is that you, Dad?

The cactus finally got his certification to practice medicine. He was now a doctor in spike-ology.

Never drought my love for you.

When the cactus went to the plant college, he met many new kinds of plants. His new friend told him, “You seem pretty fly for a cacti.”

We watched a thriller movie about a cactus the other day that had an amazing twist at the end of it. My dad said afterward, “Well, that had a spiketacular ending.”

May your friends be better to you than a cactus. I’ll sure be one of them.

What did one cactus say to the other cactus?
– “Stick with me and we’ll go places.”

I once knew a cactus that lived on Sesame Street. I used to call it Prickle me Elmo.

The little cactus was worried about being bad at math. Her teacher tried to encourage her by saying, “Don’t worry. Keep trying. Cactus makes perfect.”

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