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Planet jokes 🪐🌍🌑 in 2023

Why won’t Pluto throw a birthday party?
– It can’t even planet

Two aliens are talking about a desolate planet Earth…
– The first alien asks : ” How did all the humans die?”

The second alien says : “They used so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out.”

What the the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?
– I can see Uranus from here.

Earth is the third planet from the sun.
– By this logic, all countries are third world countries

What do you get when you combine A planet and an apple?
– Ma Rio

Today I pulled a key off my keyboard [long]
– Today I pulled one of the CTRL keys from my keyboard and was shocked to find myself looking down at the entire universe: stars planets, black holes, the whole thing was right there beneath my keyboard.

I was so shocked I called a friend in to show her. After five minutes of gazing into totality, she turned to me and said:

Don’t worry, it seems you have everything under control here.

It’s the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in Christmas crackers, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets.
– The real joke is in the comets

An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.
– Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.

Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?

Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.

Why is a planet that is earthquake-free so awesome?
– Because it’s crack-a-lackin’

I wanted to throw an earth day party…
– But I forgot to planet

I asked my German friend how many planets in our Solar System
– Surprisingly he said “Nine”

Switzerland is arguably one of the best countries on the planet
The Alps are pretty cool, and the flag is a big plus.

If Bruno Mars married Venus Williams on Earth, do you think they’d have a Sun?
– Only if they planet.

250 lbs here on Earth is 94.5 lbs on Mercury
– No, I’m not fat. I’m just not on the right planet.

Our planet successfully played most notes on the piano.
– But it couldn’t B flat.

A serpent guard, a Horus guard, and a Setesh guard meet on a neutral planet. It is a tense moment.
– The serpent guard’s eyes glow. The Horus guard’s beak glistens. The Setesh guard’s nose drips.

How do you organize a party in outer space?
– You planet.

Two Aliens
– 2 aliens are talking in outer space, looking down on Earth.

“It seems the inhabitants of planet Earth have created nuclear technology and missiles” says one alien

“are they showing signs of intelligence?” asks the other

“I dont think so. They seem to be aiming at themselves”

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