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Planet jokes 🪐🌍🌑 in 2024

Why won’t Pluto throw a birthday party?
– It can’t even planet

Two aliens are talking about a desolate planet Earth…
– The first alien asks : ” How did all the humans die?”

The second alien says : “They used so much toilet paper they wiped themselves out.”

What the the planet Jupiter say to Neptune?
– I can see Uranus from here.

Earth is the third planet from the sun.
– By this logic, all countries are third world countries

What do you get when you combine A planet and an apple?
– Ma Rio

It’s the year 2070. Instead of putting funny one-liners in Christmas crackers, they put them in timecapsules embedded in space-rocks and send them to other planets.
– The real joke is in the comets

An alien mothership is scouting planet Earth.
– Alien Scout: Sir, the Humans appear to possess massive military capabilities, nuclear weapons included.

Alien Commander: This is problematic, are they really such an intelligent species?

Alien Scout: Apparently not Sir, they appear to have them pointed at themselves.

Today I pulled a key off my keyboard [long]
– Today I pulled one of the CTRL keys from my keyboard and was shocked to find myself looking down at the entire universe: stars planets, black holes, the whole thing was right there beneath my keyboard.

I was so shocked I called a friend in to show her. After five minutes of gazing into totality, she turned to me and said:

Don’t worry, it seems you have everything under control here.

Why is a planet that is earthquake-free so awesome?
– Because it’s crack-a-lackin’

I wanted to throw an earth day party…
– But I forgot to planet

What do you call an undiscovered planet?
– I don’t know… It doesn’t have a name yet.

You can be the most beautiful woman on the planet but if you can’t cook
– don’t worry I can

What is Hitlers least favourite planet
– Jewpiter

How do astronauts make sure their mission goes smoothly?
– They planet.

What did earth tell the other planets?
– Get a life!

Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robots.
– They call it Mars.

How do astronomers organize a party?
– **They planet.**

On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest…
– So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too…

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