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Planet jokes 🪐🌍🌑 in 2022

Freddie Mercury, Bruno Mars and Venus Williams all walk into the same bar..
– But they didn’t planet…

I hope Planet Fitness really is a judgement free zone
– Gonna be taking my dumps there for the next couple weeks.

I went up to Serena Williams.
– I said, “Serena, what’s your favourite planet?”

She said, “It’s Venus.”

I said, “Oh sorry, Venus, what’s your favourite planet?”

Maybe Jesus didn’t like your chocolates
– So aliens come to earth and they’re Sooo nice. There’s a huge televised event with all the world leaders in attendance.

The Pope asks, “Do you know of Jesus Christ?”

The aliens say, “Do we Ever? Awesome guy!! Swings by the planet every couple of years to say Hi!”

The Pope exclaims, “Every couple of years?? What!!?? We’re still waiting for his second coming!”

The alien replies, “Maybe he didn’t like your chocolate?”

The Pope is flabbergasted, “What does chocolate have to do with anything?”

The alien says, “Well when he came the first time, we gave him a huge box of chocolates! Why? What did you guys give him?”

What planets do Astronauts like to pee on?
– Uranus!

There was an astronaut who landed on an alien planet inhabited by several beautiful women.
– When he climbed out of his spaceship, he was approached by the women, who were all some 20 feet taller. One came up to him and asked, ‘I suppose you want to see the leader?’ The astronaut looked up at her, and replied:

“’Take me to your ladder. I’ll see your leader later.’”

I called Serena Williams. I said, “Serena, what’s your favorite planet?”
– She said, “It’s Venus.”

Me: I’m sorry Venus. Could you put Serena on the phone?

Jupiter heard from Neptune that Pluto was pregnant.
– Jupiter said to Pluto “Congratulations! I was surprised to hear that you’re expecting!”

To which Pluto replied “Thanks. Yeah, I definitely didn’t planet!”

There must be another planet somewhere with worms.
– Otherwise why would we call ours Earth worms

What did earth tell the other planets?
– Get a life!

What do you call an undiscovered planet?
– I don’t know… It doesn’t have a name yet.

You can be the most beautiful woman on the planet but if you can’t cook
– don’t worry I can

What is Hitlers least favourite planet
– Jewpiter

How do astronauts make sure their mission goes smoothly?
– They planet.

Why can’t Superman attend the Daily Planet meeting?
– Because Clark Can’t.

Scientists have discovered a planet populated entirely by robots.
– They call it Mars.

How do astronomers organize a party?
– **They planet.**

On October 31st, we will have a full moon, and the 7th planet from the sun will be its brightest…
– So when someone sees the moon that day, they will likely see Uranus too…

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