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Cooking jokes 🍳👩‍🍳 in 2023

Did you know that lesbians suck at cooking?
– It’s cuz they are always eating out

Why can’t Harry Potter tell the difference between his cooking pot and his best friend?
– Because they’re both cauldron

Billie Joe Armstrong never uses the help of any assistants while cooking as he woks alone!

Don’t leave alphabet soup cooking on the stove unattended.
– It could spell disaster.

While cooking, I got stressed and screamed at my colander, and now I have a strained voice!

What did the chef cook to make the fruits start dancing in the kitchen?
– A Plum Salsa!

We were on a boating trip, and one of my sisters was cooking a wok at the back of the vessel. Later, I found out that she was preparing a stern fry!

Yesterday morning, I saw my wife cooking breakfast in her bedroom slippers. I wonder why she doesn’t use the frying pan!

My wife is a good cook, but her excessive usage of spice gives me seasonal depression!

A customer once asked a chef if anyone orders a raw steak. The chef replied, “Yes, but it’s rare!”

What is the cooking show’s name, which allows you to use one pan throughout the competition?
– You Think You Have The Skillet Takes!

My little girl loves helping me when I’m doing the cooking, because I always let her lick the spoon.
– The sooner she’s old enough to buy her own heroin, the better.

While cooking, I got ketchup in my eye, but I didn’t wash it
– because Heinzsight is 20/20!

What is a nice guys’ favorite cooking utensil?
*tips fedora*
Just kidding, it’s his mom. He doesn’t cook.

An old man is at home on his death bed
– When suddenly he smells something amazing. It’s the smell of his favorite chocolate chip cookies. And with his last strength, he gets out of bed, and he goes to the kitchen, where his wife of 50 years, is cooking these beautiful chocolate chip cookies. And they are on a plate of four of them, just out of the oven. And with his last human strength, he reaches over to take one of the cookies, and his wife sees him, she rushes over, she slaps his hand, and she says, “No, they are for the funeral.”

Why did the chef start cutting herbs when he got bored during his job?
– He began to waste thyme!

Rick went to a Chinese restaurant to have a beverage. He asked the waiter for more tea!

There was a disagreement with my wife. She claimed that cooking eggs are hard, but I want them over easy!

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