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Cooking jokes 🍳👩‍🍳 in 2024

Did you know that lesbians suck at cooking?
– It’s cuz they are always eating out

Being from the South, my mother was all about hospitality! Cooking, cleaning, dishes, laundry and even foot rubs!
– She made me do it all.

My girlfriend was cooking for our guests. She told me to go in and prepare the table.
– So I walked in and told them all about her cooking.

I used to be a member of the secret cooking society…
– They kicked me out for spilling the beans.

A wife is shouting at her husband about not helping her with chores
– I’m cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, while you are sitting all day, waiting for me to bring you a beer. What kind of a husband are you?
– A patient one.

What is the common thing you have between a film production and a lunch consisting of meat and veggies in a tortilla?
– In the end, both are a wrap!

A fly got stuck in the strainer. A chef who saw it exclaimed, “You got yourself in a fine mesh”.

I started stealing cutlery from my cooking classes
– It was a whisk I was willing to take

My wife and I got into a fight as she claimed I used too much spice. I asked her how she could accuse me and baste on what!

A thief stole the identity of a famous Italian chef. However, then the police caught the thief, and they pressed charges against him for being an impasta!

Why was the conversation between two Indian chefs not spicy?
– Because it was a daal conversation.

My cooking is so great….
…that firefighters like to come and watch.

A dude goes out on a date with his new Chinese girlfriend…
– It goes so well that she invites him back to her place. “I had a wonderful time,” she purrs at him. “I’m pretty much up for anything you want after a night like that.”

The young guy thinks for a moment and says, “Well, to be honest, I’ve always wanted to try a 69.”

“Forget that!” she says. “There’s no way I’m cooking chicken chow mein at this time of night!”

A dying man smells his favorite oatmeal raisin cookies cooking downstairs.
It takes all the strength he has left but he gets up from the bed and crawls down the stairs.
He sees the cookies cooling on the counter and staggers over to them. As he reaches for one, his wife’s wrinkled hand reaches out, smacks his and she yells:
No, you can’t have those! They’re for the funeral!

The only classical music maestro who can prepare good dishes in a TV program is Show Pan.

My sister got extremely angry when she found that I was stir-frying our dog. I don’t understand why. She told me to take it on a wok!

The only way you can tell that the pasta you are preparing is done is if you have a good skill of Al-dente-fication!

If Cinderella was given the task of cooking and not cleaning, then she would have been named Mozzarella!

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