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Viola jokes in 2021

What’s the difference between a washing machine and a violist?
– Vibrato.

Why do violists have pea-sized brains?
– Because alcohol has swelled them.

How many violists does it take to make a batch of chocolate chip cookies?
– Ten. One to stir the batter and nine to peel the M & Mโ€™s.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a class of deaf students and a symphony viola section?
– The violists have a pension plan.

What was the violin’s reaction when it played the music perfectly?
– Voila.

A conductor and a violist are standing in the middle of the road. which one do you run over first, and why?
– The conductor. Business before pleasure.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a viola and a coffin?
– The coffin has the dead person on the inside.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a violist and a terrorist?
– A few people actually like terrorists; Their mothers.

Q: YoQ: You are lost in the desert. You come upon a good Violist, a bad Violist, and a large white rabbit. Of which of the three do you ask directions?
– A: The bad Violist. The other two are mirages.

How do you get a viola section to play spiccato?
– Write a whole note with “solo” above it.

Why can’t you hear a viola on a digital recording?
– Recording technology has reached such an advanced level of development that all extraneous noise is eliminated.

Whatโ€™s the difference between a dead skunk on the road and a crushed viola on the road?
– There are skid marks before the skunk.

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