Friday Jokes in 2021

Just grabbed myself an early black friday deal – sleeping bag for only ยฃ30
-No idea how to wake it up thoughโ€ฆ

I was at an Italian restaurant last Friday…
-Me: “I’ll just have the Paggione”.
Waitress: “That says ‘page one’, sir.”

Who can profit a lot on Friday the 13th?
– Tailors because they know a lot of superstitchens.

What does Friday smell like?

Attention ladies “BLACK FRIDAY SALE”
-My house.
You And Me…All Clothes 100% Off.

What did the flea on the right leg of Robinson Crusoe said to the flea on the left leg of Crusoe?
-‘Bye for now, see you on Friday.’

Why couldn’t Friday lift the heavy weights?
-Because it was a weak day.

Why does Jack dress business casual on Fridays?
-He only has four suits.

When do rich people celebrate Black Friday?
– Every day.

What is the thing that almost sounds unreal but is actually very real?
-Boring Friday.

I went to the liquor store Friday afternoon on my bicycle, bought a bottle of Scotch and put it in the bicycle basket.
-As I was about to leave, I thought to myself that if I fell off the bicycle, the bottle would break. So I drank all the Scotch before I cycled home. It turned out to be a very good decision, because I fell off my bicycle seven times on the way home.

Did yโ€™all hear about the guy who shot himself in Walmart in Black Friday?
-Theyโ€™re calling it a self-checkout


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