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Friday Jokes in 2022

What do you call it when you have to finish your homework on a Friday?
-A cryday night.

What should have been the name of the sequel of Friday the 13th?
-Saturday the 14th.

Walstreet is gonna lose $70 billion this Friday according to AP news. How much did it cost redditors?
-tree fiddy

I heard Walmart stores were so busy on Friday that they opened a second register!
-Sounds like a picnic compared to O’hare Airport yesterday!

What would a tired person do if Friday night was a person?
-Hug it and never let it go.

A math joke my teacher told me on Friday
-A: I don’t understand why people use fractions, they are pointless.
B: I mean… I like them, but you gotta know where to draw the line or people will think that you’re irrational.
A: I still don’t see the point I using them.

I’ve got the deal already worked out – this Black Friday, I’m getting a new Lexus for my wife
-I think she’s going to be really surprised – but from my perspective, it’s an awesome trade

How do you know when a tree has had too much to drink?
-It won’t stop trunk texting their ax.

What did John Wicks’ enemy tell him on Friday?
-Be careful, Wicks going to end soon

Your essays should be like a girls skirt.
-Long enough to cover the subject, short enough to keep it interesting and on the desk by Friday midnight

What’s scarier than Friday the 13th?
– Mondays.

They’re having a great sale in person at the mall for Black Friday
-Everything is buy one, get achoo free

Judas: You still on for Friday?
-Jesus: Friday?
Judas: Yeah, the last supper
Jesus: the what?
Judas: supper. Normal supper with the fellas

Why was the hospital empty?
-Because it is a feel-good Friday.

So I went to a club on friday night…
-So I went to the club near my road and the DJ started playing Jump Around so I started jumping around. Next the DJ played the Twist, so natuarally, I did the twist. Then the DJ played come on Eileene, I got kicked out.

A huge bouquet of red roses arrives at the office on Friday.
-The brunette says excitedly to her blonde friend:
“They’re from my boyfriend: you know what this means? I’ll be spending this entire weekend on my back with my legs in the air!”
The blonde says: “Don’t you have a vase?”

Why should one visit a tire shop on Black Friday?
-They will have a blowout.

Where can you find a computer on Friday night?
-At the disc-o.

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