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Walmart jokes in 2024

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always at the cash register? A “checkout” associate.

Why did the Walmart shopper bring a machete, compass, map, GPS, sherpa, and a guidebook? To survive the wilds of Walmart.

Why did the Walmart shopper need a map? To navigate the “Everyday Low Price” labyrinth.

Why did the Walmart shopper bring a machete? To “hack” their way through the crowds on Black Friday.

What did the Walmart employee say when the customer asked if they had any high-end products? “We have a luxury section, it’s called Target.”

What did the Walmart employee say when the customer asked if they had any high-end makeup brands? “We have a high-end makeup section, it’s called the drugstore.”

Why did the Walmart employee wear a hard hat? To “protect” the customers from high prices.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always monitoring the security cameras? A “surveillance” associate.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always pushing carts? A “rolling” associate.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always on the move? A “mobility” associate.

Why did the Walmart shopper bring a tent? To camp out in the parking lot for Black Friday deals.

Why did the Walmart shopper bring a survival kit? To make it through the endless lines and crowds.

What did the Walmart employee say when the customer asked if they had any gourmet food? “We have a gourmet section, it’s called the deli.”

Why did the Walmart employee wear a superhero costume, cape, mask, and gloves? To fight the evil of high prices, protect customers from germs, and save the day.

Why did the Walmart shopper bring a compass? To find the “hidden” clearance items.

Why did the Walmart employee wear a wizard hat? To cast a spell of low prices.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always checking receipts? A “loss prevention” associate.

What do you call a Walmart employee who’s always running around the store? A “runaway” associate.

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