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Good jokes in 2024

What’s the difference between a well dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bike?

What’s the different between a cat and a comma?
-A cat has claws at the end of paws; A comma is a pause at the end of a clause.

What do you call a man who can’t stand?

Why can’t you explain puns to kleptomaniacs?
-They always take things literally.

Want to hear a joke about a piece of paper?
-Never mind… it’s tearable.

How do you make a tissue dance?
-Put a little boogie in it.

What did the pirate get on his report card?
-Seven Cs!

What does a zombie vegetarian eat?

What does a nosy pepper do?
-Gets jalapeño business!

What do you call someone with no body and no nose?
-Nobody knows!

What rhymes with orange
-No it doesn’t.

Ever tried to eat a clock?
-It’s time-consuming.

What did the pirate say when he turned 80?
-Aye matey.

Why are pirates called pirates?
-Because they arrgh!

How many tickles does it take to tickle an octopus?

What do you call a fake noodle?
-An impasta.

What did the horse say after it tripped?
-“Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t giddyup!”

Why did the frog take the bus to work today?
-His car got toad away.

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