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Glasses jokes 👓 in 2023
Glasses is used to refer to both drinking glasses and eye glasses. They are made with similar materials and can result in a similar finish; however, they are created using very different methods for their related tasks. Glasses jokes about drinking glasses as well as those about eye glasses are both funny and easy to fit in many conversations.
Police stops a man and says, “You’re supposed to be wearing glasses”
Man: I have contacts.
Policeman: I don’t give a damn who you know.
So my husband told me I look better without my glasses
– I said, thanks, you look better without my glasses too
Glasses just for looks
– I wear my glasses just for looks. I can’t look at anything without them
My sister sat on my glasses and broke them…
– I suppose it’s my fault for not taking them off first
Guess who I bumped into on my way to get my glasses fixed ?
– Everybody
People say I look better without glasses.
– But I just can’t see it.
My plan for tomorrow is to get some new glasses
– After that I guess I’ll just see what happens
Why do java coders wear glasses?
– Because they don’t C#
This past week I made a couple bucks selling fake eclipse glasses
– I’m not to worried though, those suckers will never see me again.
Gf: what are your plans for today?
Me: a friend and I are going out to buy glasses
Gf: and after that?
Me: I guess we’ll see
After returning from the eye doctor, my dad started chugging milk straight from the carton.
– When asked why, he said, “The doctor told me I don’t need glasses.”
At my age I can no longer function without my glasses.
– Especially when they are empty.
I got so drunk the other night that I lost my glasses.
– The rest is a blur.
My son broke my only glasses out of anger
– I could never look at him the same
A policeman was interrogating 3 guys who were training to become detectives. To test their skills in recognizing a suspect, he shows the first guys a picture for 5 seconds and then hides it. “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The first guy answers, “That’s easy, we’ll catch him fast because he only has one eye!”
The policeman says, “Well…uh…that’s because the picture I showed is his side profile.”
Slightly flustered by this ridiculous response, he flashes the picture for 5 seconds at the second guy and asks him, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?”
The second guy smiles, flips his hair and says, “Ha! He’d be too easy to catch because he only has one ear!”
The policeman angrily responds, “What’s the matter with you two?!!? Of course only one eye and one ear are showing because it’s a picture of his side profile! Is that the best answer you can come up with?”
Extremely frustrated at this point, he shows the picture to the third guy and in a very testy voice asks, “This is your suspect, how would you recognize him?
He quickly adds, “Think hard before giving me a stupid answer.”
The third guy looks at the picture intently for a moment and says, “The suspect wears contact lenses.”
The policeman is surprised and speechless because he really doesn’t know himself if the suspect wears contacts or not.
“Well, that’s an interesting answer. Wait here for a few minutes while I check his file and I’ll get back to you on that.”
He leaves the room and goes to his office, checks the suspect’s file on his computer and comes back with a beaming smile on his face.
“Wow! I can’t believe it. It’s TRUE! The suspect does, in fact, wear contact lenses. Good work! How were you able to make such an astute observation?”
“That’s easy…” the third guy replied. “He can’t wear regular glasses because he only has one eye and one ear.”
I got some new glasses and I had someone say I am looking good!
– Not sure how they know how well I can see out of my glasses but I appreciated the attention!
Never Hit A Guy With Glasses
– Hit him with a baseball bat.
“YOU’LL SEE! THEY’LL ALL SEE!”
– said by a very passionate eye doctor as they throw eye glasses into a crowd.
(credit goes to my mom)
Drinking Glasses
Glasses are used every day for people to drink from. This is an overall term that is used to reference both glass and plastic ones, with funny glasses jokes for each. Some of the funniest glasses jokes are about how by definition something made from plastic can not actually be a glass, yet they are called that every day. This slang term is well ingrained in society around the globe, as something that people drink from, with cheesy glasses jokes pointing out the difference.Many different sizes of glasses are available and there are traditional or intended uses for each of them. Wine jokes may show the difference of wine glasses and will certainly be targeting those who drink wine from a water glass, while other silly glasses jokes may be aimed at using a juice glass for a margarita or a margarita glass for milk.
Eye Glasses
Eye glasses are worn by people who have a problem with their vision that can be corrected with a prescription, as sunglasses to protect the eyes from the sun, or as a style choice with no prescription. Top glasses jokes about the thickness of glasses have been popular for several decades as they often compare the thickness of the lenses to the eyesight of the wearer. Some corny glasses jokes are used by people who are making fun of or teasing others who have glasses, though this is usually a phase that is gone through by children and most adults do not use them as such. One liner glasses jokes are very popular in pointing out that people who need glasses often can not find them once they have been removed, because they need their glasses to see well enough to find them. This top glasses joke has been around for many years, likely decades, and will continue far into the future.Even with new technology and developments there is not one set solution to avoid glasses, though contacts offer a choice for some, and surgery is successful for others, these are not solutions that are suitable for every situation. The best glasses jokes will continue until they are no longer needed by society, and likely beyond as they are seen in pictures of the past and throughout history.
Cute glasses jokes are often intended to help ease the anxiety or worry of children who are getting their first pair. They may worry about them becoming uncomfortable, broken, or of being teased by others for needing them. By using funny glasses jokes for kids, these worries can be eased.
Glasses Jokes in School
Schools are not only places where people learn about the core subjects and skills for life, but also social skills and how other people are different. Short glasses jokes are common in school and they can be used for different purposes. Some are to help kids learn about each other and what glasses are for, or even how they work. Others are used by kids to tease the kids that have glasses, though these usually are a passing phase.Teaching about safety glasses and eye protection is one way in which teachers and schools can ensure that safety is observed during some activities. Safety glasses jokes are always a hit in the science rooms and woodshop. Eye wash stations are also present in most places that safety glasses are required, and hilarious glasses jokes about the safety glasses, the eye wash station, and the accessibility of dangerous things within the school are all common in these classes. Schools can use these all as a way to teach students about the world around them and ensure they are prepared for life after school.