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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2023
Wine is often called the grape juice for adults, and it certainly is popular almost around the world. Something this popular is certain to have a number of puns, stories, and jokes, and the wine jokes are certainly not any different. Many well placed funny wine jokes are ranging dinner tables and lunches.
If you can drink away your hurt
-it must have been champagne.
Some people like beer goggles.
– I prefer wine glasses.
I drink wine because I
– I don’t like to keep things bottled up.
When you get a hangover from wine,
-it’s called the Grape Depression.
Which type of wine do horses request most often?
-Chardon-neigh.
Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
-She was tired of raisin a family.
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
-Sauvign-yawn blanc!
Wine Lovers Rhyme:
-A friend of wine is a friend of mine!
What is a grape’s favorite day?
– Winesday.
Why do women take baths to relax?
-Because it’s too hard to drink wine in the shower.
How do you decide how much wine to drink?
-Take it on case-by-case basis.
I hear you like wine, too
-Grape minds think alike
I have an old wine barrel that is haunted by the ghost of a pirate. The ghost is quite friendly and really enjoys when you memorise passages from one of the Harry Potter books and then lean into the barrel and recite the passage.
– Sure, its unusual, but don’t read too much into it.
I just heard on the grapevine that doctors have invented a new grape variety that acts as an anti-diuretic to help with incontinence.
-It’s called Pinot More.
Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
-The Reds!
Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder:
-Did Marilyn drink Merlot?
Whenever I feel like wining,
– I remind myself to put a cork in it.
What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
-Things went pour-ably wrong.
Wine Stains
The stains that wine leaves on furniture, carpet, and clothing are often hard or impossible to remove and they can point out how a person spends their spare time or habits they enjoy. This leads to many cheesy wine jokes about how much or how often someone drinks, and how it affects their belongings. There are silly wine jokes about how hard it is to remove a wine stain and short wine jokes about how easy they are to get, especially after having a few glasses.Winery Jokes
Without a winery there would be no wine, and with so many wineries around the world there are jokes to go with them, with corny wine jokes about how much it is to buy one or run one, and one liner jokes about the owners themselves. A complex balance of light, water, soil, and nutrients must be maintained for each type of grape, and to mix them just right for the correct flavours is an intricate formula that is created over and over in these businesses, and where there are sanitized area there are certain to be clean jokes about eating off of floors and how the new equipment may differ from the old. The tastings are another great source, with many cute wine jokes about how the wine is swirled, tasted, but not drank, to judge the flavours. The funniest wine jokes may be about those who can’t find the range of flavours at all, rather then those who can, while certainly those who are unable to find the notes of flavour will make corny jokes about those who can and the suspicion that they really can’t after all.While there aren’t many wine jokes for kids there are those about the squishing of the grapes, how it is done, and do they really walk on them? These can be cute wine jokes about the system to make them, how fun it might be, and how boring the tours are. Certainly there are hilarious wine jokes about the tours and the tastings that seem to last hours with only chatting and listening to how it’s supposed to taste, certainly a boring outing for any child.
Wine Price Jokes
The wide range in prices of wines can denote not only where it was made but how long it takes to make and how hard it is to create. This includes everything from healthy soil for ingredients to grow, workers to complete each task along the way, and the balance needed to create an individual flavour. With many short wine jokes these processes are all gathered together to address only the prices of the wines. There are the very affordable wines that every college student has sampled at some point, and the cheesy wine jokes about the expensive bottles, sometimes worth thousands. With such a wide range of prices the top wine jokes can take advantage and aim anywhere in between. While there is a wine at every price point that people will pay, there is certainly one that they will not, whether it be a price to low to be considered quality or too high to be reasonable for an average drinker to enjoy, it seems to be one topic that never runs out of discussion points.Wine is a common drink found around many dining tables, in restaurants and bars alike, and is enjoyed around the world, and this leaves it open to many conversations, judgements, and understandings. It is often years in the making yet low priced wines can be bottled and shipped quickly, and the range in quality and price is so large there are certain to be a huge number of wine jokes, puns, stories, and one liner wine jokes. As a regular part of life for many there is a wide basic knowledge of the drink and it is often used in cooking, with most people being at least a little familiar with the product and able to enjoy the conversations that surround it, and enjoy the odd well placed joke.