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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2024

What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
-Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

I drank so much wine last night that when I walked across the dance floor to get another glass;
-I won the dance competition.

What does a cat lady say on Friday night?
-I am drinking wine and feline fine!

Unlike milk, when is it okay to cry?
– When there’s spilled wine.

Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
-He heard it was a Goodyear!

What do you call the guy who chooses a suitable fortified Spanish wine?
-A Sherry Picker.

What did the grape say when he got stepped on?
-He let out a little wine.

I’ve trained my dog to bring me red wine.
-It’s a Bordeaux collie.

There’s a hair in my wine
-The grapes must have been fur-mented.

Why was the white wine’s off-beat pun so boo-ed?
-Because it was too corky.

I can’t wait for the day when I can drink wine with my kids
-instead of because of them

Where does wine catch up on all the vineyard dirt?
-Through the grapevine.

What is Merlot’s favorite thing to eat for breakfast?
-Wine-o’s.

When I drink wine,
-I make pour decisions.

Why did Wonder Woman rescue the Wine?
-Because that’s what grape lady superheroes do!

Why couldn’t the white wine make any friends in school?
– Because he was too corky.

He said his non-alcoholic wine was delicious;
-I said he had no proof.

What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
-Port whine!

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