Wine is often called the grape juice for adults, and it certainly is popular almost around the world. Something this popular is certain to have a number of puns, stories, and jokes, and the wine jokes are certainly not any different. Many well placed funny wine jokes are ranging dinner tables and lunches.
It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full.
-There’s clearly room for more wine.
Why do we love wine puns?
-Because they’re grape
What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
-Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!
Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
-In a wine cabernet.
How can you tell which of the wine tasters is visiting a place for the first time?
-By the blanc look on their faces.
What did the grape say when it was crushed?
-Nothing, it just let out a little wine.
It’s funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible
-but 8 glasses of wine is a sign of a good meal.
This kind of wine does not go right through you.
– Trust me, you will pee no noir.
Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes
-that could have been wine.
What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
What is a terrorist’s preferred kind of wine?
– White Infidel.
The stains that wine leaves on furniture, carpet, and clothing are often hard or impossible to remove and they can point out how a person spends their spare time or habits they enjoy. This leads to many cheesy wine jokes about how much or how often someone drinks, and how it affects their belongings. There are silly wine jokes about how hard it is to remove a wine stain and short wine jokes about how easy they are to get, especially after having a few glasses.
Without a winery there would be no wine, and with so many wineries around the world there are jokes to go with them, with corny wine jokes about how much it is to buy one or run one, and one liner jokes about the owners themselves. A complex balance of light, water, soil, and nutrients must be maintained for each type of grape, and to mix them just right for the correct flavours is an intricate formula that is created over and over in these businesses, and where there are sanitized area there are certain to be clean jokes about eating off of floors and how the new equipment may differ from the old. The tastings are another great source, with many cute wine jokes about how the wine is swirled, tasted, but not drank, to judge the flavours. The funniest wine jokes may be about those who can’t find the range of flavours at all, rather then those who can, while certainly those who are unable to find the notes of flavour will make corny jokes about those who can and the suspicion that they really can’t after all.
While there aren’t many wine jokes for kids there are those about the squishing of the grapes, how it is done, and do they really walk on them? These can be cute wine jokes about the system to make them, how fun it might be, and how boring the tours are. Certainly there are hilarious wine jokes about the tours and the tastings that seem to last hours with only chatting and listening to how it’s supposed to taste, certainly a boring outing for any child.
Wine Price Jokes
The wide range in prices of wines can denote not only where it was made but how long it takes to make and how hard it is to create. This includes everything from healthy soil for ingredients to grow, workers to complete each task along the way, and the balance needed to create an individual flavour. With many short wine jokes these processes are all gathered together to address only the prices of the wines. There are the very affordable wines that every college student has sampled at some point, and the cheesy wine jokes about the expensive bottles, sometimes worth thousands. With such a wide range of prices the top wine jokes can take advantage and aim anywhere in between. While there is a wine at every price point that people will pay, there is certainly one that they will not, whether it be a price to low to be considered quality or too high to be reasonable for an average drinker to enjoy, it seems to be one topic that never runs out of discussion points.
Wine is a common drink found around many dining tables, in restaurants and bars alike, and is enjoyed around the world, and this leaves it open to many conversations, judgements, and understandings. It is often years in the making yet low priced wines can be bottled and shipped quickly, and the range in quality and price is so large there are certain to be a huge number of wine jokes, puns, stories, and one liner wine jokes. As a regular part of life for many there is a wide basic knowledge of the drink and it is often used in cooking, with most people being at least a little familiar with the product and able to enjoy the conversations that surround it, and enjoy the odd well placed joke.