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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2024

What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
-Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Did you hear about the crime family that took over the wine importing business?
-They call themselves the Sip-ranos!

Why do we enjoy wine jokes?
-Because they’re de-vine!

How can you tell which of the wine tasters is visiting a place for the first time?
-By the blanc look on their faces.

The first thing on my bucket list is to
-fill the bucket with wine.

Did you know wine doesn’t make you fat?
-It makes you lean…against tables, chairs, floors, walls and ugly people.

This kind of wine does not go right through you.
– Trust me, you will pee no noir.

Every box of raisins is a tragic tale of grapes
-that could have been wine.

It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full.
-There’s clearly room for more wine.

Why do we love wine puns?
-Because they’re grape

Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
– Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!

Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
-Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!

Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
-In a wine cabernet.

Where do people lock up their drinks?
– In a wine cabernet.

What did the grape say when it was crushed?
-Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

It’s funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible
-but 8 glasses of wine is a sign of a good meal.

What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
-Mos-cat-o!

What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
-Chardon-neigh!

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