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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2023

If you can drink away your hurt
-it must have been champagne.

Some people like beer goggles.
– I prefer wine glasses.

I drink wine because I
– I don’t like to keep things bottled up.

When you get a hangover from wine,
-it’s called the Grape Depression.

Which type of wine do horses request most often?

Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
-She was tired of raisin a family.

What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
-Sauvign-yawn blanc!

Wine Lovers Rhyme:
-A friend of wine is a friend of mine!

What is a grape’s favorite day?
– Winesday.

Why do women take baths to relax?
-Because it’s too hard to drink wine in the shower.

How do you decide how much wine to drink?
-Take it on case-by-case basis.

I hear you like wine, too
-Grape minds think alike

I have an old wine barrel that is haunted by the ghost of a pirate. The ghost is quite friendly and really enjoys when you memorise passages from one of the Harry Potter books and then lean into the barrel and recite the passage.
– Sure, its unusual, but don’t read too much into it.

I just heard on the grapevine that doctors have invented a new grape variety that acts as an anti-diuretic to help with incontinence.
-It’s called Pinot More.

Which sports team do wine lovers always root for?
-The Reds!

Wine Connoisser Point to Ponder:
-Did Marilyn drink Merlot?

Whenever I feel like wining,
– I remind myself to put a cork in it.

What happened when a clumsy sommelier tried to decant a bottle of fine wine?
-Things went pour-ably wrong.

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