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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2023

It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full.
-There’s clearly room for more wine.

Why do we love wine puns?
-Because they’re grape

Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
– Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!

Did you hear about the little grape who didn’t want to be made into wine?
-Unfortunately, he was pressed into service!

Where do connoisseurs lock up their best bottles?
-In a wine cabernet.

Where do people lock up their drinks?
– In a wine cabernet.

What did the grape say when it was crushed?
-Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

It’s funny how 8 glasses of water a day seems impossible
-but 8 glasses of wine is a sign of a good meal.

What kind of wine is aged to purr-fection?
-Mos-cat-o!

What kind of wine do they serve at the horse races?
-Chardon-neigh!

What is a terrorist’s preferred kind of wine?
– White Infidel.

Why did the wine connoisseur insist on drinking from an old tire?
– He heard it was a Goodyear!

What do sailors drink when they gather at a tavern to commiserate?
-Port whine!

Why do wine lovers guzzle down vine humor?
-Because wine jokes are a barrel of laughs.

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with?
– Sushi.

Sometimes we all need a Riesling to
– be cheerful.

We have an open-door policy
-Show up with wine, and we’ll open the door.

Oh no! My wine glass is empty.
– Somebody call Wine-One-One!

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