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Wine Jokes 🍷 in 2024

What did the grape say when the elephant stood on it?
-Nothing, it just let out a little wine.

Don’t ask me why I love wine.
-I have my rieslings.

How can you tell a wine taster is a newbie?
-By the blanc look on her face.

Gluten-free, dairy-free, fat-free
-I love this new Champagne Diet!

The problem with collecting wine is that you always end up
-getting screwed.

Why do winos love cheap wine puns?
-Because wine snobs hate them!

Where do grapes go for breakfast?
-A winer.

If you can drink away your hurt
-it must have been champagne.

Some people like beer goggles.
– I prefer wine glasses.

I drink wine because I
– I don’t like to keep things bottled up.

When you get a hangover from wine,
-it’s called the Grape Depression.

Which type of wine do horses request most often?
-Chardon-neigh.

Why did Mrs. Wine Grape run away from home?
-She was tired of raisin a family.

What type of wine is notorious for making you drowsy?
-Sauvign-yawn blanc!

Wine Lovers Rhyme:
-A friend of wine is a friend of mine!

What is a grape’s favorite day?
– Winesday.

Why do women take baths to relax?
-Because it’s too hard to drink wine in the shower.

How do you decide how much wine to drink?
-Take it on case-by-case basis.

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