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Uncle Jokes in 2021

Whatโ€™s the similarity between skid marks and my uncle?
– you can find both in my boxers

My uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he kept fighting them off and drowned. We had him cremated…
– he burned for three days.

My drunk uncle is Santa Claus
– He breaks into my house, drinks all the milk and snacks.. Then, he unloads his sack all over the living room.

My uncle’s wife is a centimeter tall, has six legs, and is always on edge.
– I guess you could say she’s a little a(u)nt-sy.

At my cousin’s birthday party, I held up a photo of my uncle and said “It’s amazing how you look just like your father did at 40!”
– That’s the last quinceaรฑera I get invited to.

30 years ago my uncle stole my nose, and he hasnโ€™t given it back.
-Lord Voldemort

It’s like my uncle always said: “The day I can’t do my job drunk…”
“…is the day I hand in my badge and gun.”

All three of my uncles used to grow weed together
– It was a joint effort.

My uncle was in a terrible accident, and lost the entire left side of his body.
– He’s all right, now.

When my uncle Frank died, he wanted his remains to be buried in his favorite beer mug
– His last wish was to be Frank in Stein

My uncle is such a great businessman that he made $6 million in profits this year
– He works in a non-profit organization

My Uncle has a coal fetish.
– Its why he likes to bang miners.

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