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Uncle Jokes in 2022

I’ll never forget the last words my uncle said to me before he passed…
– “Stop shaking the ladder, you little shit!”

My uncle drank a whole bottle of wood varnish
– He had a horrible death but a lovely finish

Why do they have fences around cemeteries?
– Because everyone is dying to get in.

In memory of my Uncle David RIP. He would always tell this joke

My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication
– It’s for Hispanic attacks

Did you hear about what happened your sweaty uncle?
– He has a wife now, and her name is Aunty Perspirant

My uncle Bobby Ray fell into a whiskey vat last week. Some men tried to pull him out but he kept fighting them off and drowned. We had him cremated…
– he burned for three days.

My uncle is a bus driver that circles Big Ben in London …
– he works around the clock.

I just read somewhere that capitalization is the difference between “I helped my uncle Jack off a horse” and “i helped my uncle jack off a horse”.
– Well that’s embarrassing. Now everyone thinks my uncle’s name is Jack.

My dad had an ischemic stroke, and my uncle had a hemorrhagic stroke
– You know what they say: different strokes for different folks!

My uncle picked me up from school during recess today!
– My mom never told me about him, but it’s nice to finally meet him!

You know that show naked and afraid? It remind me of a game I played with my uncle.
– It’s a joke! I know it’s dark. Sorry.

I used to be an Uncle like you…
…Until I took an arrow to the niece.

What’s the similarity between skid marks and my uncle?
– you can find both in my boxers

My uncle is like a good love story
– Very touching

My uncle Hans (a hotdog lover) has been very ill recently. Last night, craving a hotdog, he went on a drive to the nearest hotdog stand. Sadly, as he was driving, he became even more unwell…
…he took a turn for the wurst.

My dad was born with a conjoined twin, but the doctors managed to separate them.
– I have an uncle, once removed.

My uncle got shot by a stray bullet. By some miracle, he had a bible in his jacket pocket.
– So he had something to read as he bled to death.

Just found out my uncle is addicted to viagra
– My aunt has been taking it hard

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