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Lawyer jokes ⚖️✒️ in 2021

what is the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
– A vampire only suck blood at night.

What do you throw to a drowning lawyer? -His partners.

Why did the post office recall the new lawyer stamps? -Because people could not tell which side to spit on.

what is the difference between a a lawyer and a jellyfish?
– One is a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of a sea life.

Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? -Cats keep trying to bury them.

How do you get a group of personal injury lawyers to smile for a picture? -Just say “Fees!”

Why did God invent lawyers? -So that the real estate agents would have someone to look down on.

If you see a lawyer on a bicycle, why don’t you swerve to hit him? -It might be your bicycle.

Why are there so many lawyers in the U.S.?
-Because St. Patrick chased the snakes out of Ireland.

what do you call 400 lawyers at the bottom of the Pacific Ocean?
– A great place to start.

What’s brown and looks really good on a lawyer? -A Doberman..

Did you hear about the new sushi bar that caters exclusively to lawyers? -It’s called, Sosumi.

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