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Lawyer jokes ⚖️✒️ in 2024

What’s the difference between lawyers and buzzards?

-Lawyers have removable wing tips.

how do you stop a lawyer from drowning?
– Take your foot off his head.

Know how copper wire was invented? I don’t know. -Two lawyers were fighting over a penny.

“If law school is so hard, how come there are so many lawyers?” — Calvin Trilling

Whats the difference between a female lawyer and a pitbull? -Lipstick.

Where can you find a good lawyer? -In the cemetery

What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?

-You always hear about them, but you never see them.

what is the difference between a good lawyer and a bad lawyer?
– A bad lawyer can let a case drag out for several years, a good lawyer can make it last even longer.

what are dinosaurs and decent lawyers have in common? -They bot extinct.

What’s the difference between a catfish and a lawyer? -One’s a bottom crawling scum sucker and the other’s just a fish.

How does an attorney sleep?
– First he lies on one side and then on the other.

What can a goose do, a duck can’t, and a lawyer should? -Stick his bill up his ass.

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? -One is a spineless, poisonous blob.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ o 100? -Your honor.

Why to lawyers wear neckties? -To keep the foreskin from crawling up their chins.

What’s the definition of a lawyer?

-A mouth with a life support system

what is the difference between a catfish and a lawyer?
– One is a bottom-dwelling, garbage scavenger. The other is a fish.

what do you call a lawyer gone bad? -Senator.

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