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Vampire Jokes 🧛 in 2022

What is a vampire’s favourite animal?
– A giraffe.

How do you beat a vampire at poker?
– Raise the stakes!

How do snowmen keep warm
-With a snow blanket!

Why aren’t vampires allowed to work for Uber or Lyft?
-Because they drive everyone batty!

What don’t people like vampires?
-Because they suck!

Why do people think Vampires have Coronavirus?
-Because they’re always coffin.

I once knew a vampire named Backspace.
-I asked him why he was named Backspace and he said, “It’s because I’m really good at removing type-O’s.

A vampire walks into a bar and orders a cup of hot water. The bartender asks, “I thought you guys only drink blood?”
-The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, “I’m making tea.”

Why did the vampire get nervous during the poker game?
-His opponent had just raised the stakes.

What do you call a vampire on sale?
-Discount Dracula.

Everytime I’m come straight home from work you in the bed sleep and back there dead like a vampire in a casket.
– Then the next thing I noticed you just came back from the dead in no time dummy.

A vampire comes home, covered in blood
-Hey, awesome, where’ve you been?”

“Well, do you see the tree outside the castle?”


“Well, I didn’t”

Why did the vampire hunter puncture her bottle of Aquafina?
-Because she heard vampires were repelled by holey water!

Why did the vampire get kicked out of the house?
-Because he was a pain in the neck!

How do u say goodbye to a vampire?
-So long sucker

The other night I tried to kill a vampire with a really big pointy stick, but my aim was terrible.
-It was a giant missed stake.

A Vampire Stalks you into a field of corn
-The stakes have never been higher…

What did the vampire say to the teacher
-see you next period

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