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Vampire Jokes 🧛 in 2024

What is a vampire’s favourite animal?
– A giraffe.

How do you beat a vampire at poker?
– Raise the stakes!

First day as a vampire hunter: This is easy
-**First night as a vampire hunter:** oh no

A vampire calls his doctor, “Someting is very, very wrong.”
-When I pee, there is no blood!

Why do vampires drink blood?
– because they can’t drink bloodly Marys because they are vampires

What do you call a vampire who’s car breaks down 3 miles from a blood bank?
-A cab

What flavor of ice cream do vampires like best?
-Vein-illa!

What do you get when you cross a teacher and a vampire?
– A blood test!

Why don’t vampires use autocorrect?
-Because they love Type Os

What is a Vampire’s Favorite Fruit?
-Nectarine

Why do vampires love corny jokes?
-Because they’re the pun-dead!

What does Kevlar and vampires have in common?
– If the bullet don’t get you the sunlight will.

Why are vampires so impulsive?
-Because they never reflect on anything.

why did the vampire go to the doctors?
– because of his coff’in.

How do snowmen keep warm
-With a snow blanket!

Why aren’t vampires allowed to work for Uber or Lyft?
-Because they drive everyone batty!

What don’t people like vampires?
-Because they suck!

Why do people think Vampires have Coronavirus?
-Because they’re always coffin.

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