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Candy jokes 🍭🍬🍫 in 2023

I was out driving on Halloween and I hit a cat, I think it was dressed like a cat. It could have been a piñata for all I know because there was candy everywhere.

Somebody sprayed free candy on my van.
– The joke is on them, i have no candy.

What happened to the man who only ate Skittles?
– He farted rainbows.

What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?
– A sad candy cane!

A diet-conscious person couldn’t Reese-ist the candy which she had seen in the candy shop.

Why do Scandinavian kids visit candy stores the most?
– Because it’s really Sweden there.

Whenever I give my seat on the bus to an elderly person, they’re as happy as a kid in a candy store…
– I do the same in the men’s bathroom and they hobble away as fast as they can.

What’s a mathematician’s favorite candy bar?
– *N* Musketeers, where *N* = 3!

Ive been going through all this Halloween candy, and i have some bad news.
– No drugs.

How do you spell CANDY with only two letters?
– C and Y

How many grams of protein are there in that slice of chocolate pie?
– 3.14159265.

There are two types of candy
– The good ones,
– and the ones dad eats

The plane turbine says to the candy…
– “What kind of music do you listen to?”
– The candy says “Oh, I’m into rap. What about you?”
– The turbine says “I’m a big heavy metal fan.”

What do you call a train loaded with bubble gum?
– A chew-chew train.

What is the funniest type of taffy?
– The Laffy Taffy

Candy is dandy
– But liqour is quicker.

I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all of my candy in a hat
– And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them “My hat my candy”

As we were heading through the grocery store checkout, my wife looked over at the candy and said, “Oh, Mentos! Let’s get some!” I shrugged and said, “I already have Mentos.” Puzzled, she asked, “Really? Where?”
– “On my men feet!”

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