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Candy jokes 🍭🍬🍫 in 2024

I was out driving on Halloween and I hit a cat, I think it was dressed like a cat. It could have been a piñata for all I know because there was candy everywhere.

Somebody sprayed free candy on my van.
– The joke is on them, i have no candy.

What happened to the man who only ate Skittles?
– He farted rainbows.

What’s white, red and blue at Christmas time?
– A sad candy cane!

A diet-conscious person couldn’t Reese-ist the candy which she had seen in the candy shop.

Why do Scandinavian kids visit candy stores the most?
– Because it’s really Sweden there.

Whenever I give my seat on the bus to an elderly person, they’re as happy as a kid in a candy store…
– I do the same in the men’s bathroom and they hobble away as fast as they can.

Why did the Skittles go to school?
– They wanted to become Smarties!

I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all of my candy in a hat
– And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them “My hat my candy”

As we were heading through the grocery store checkout, my wife looked over at the candy and said, “Oh, Mentos! Let’s get some!” I shrugged and said, “I already have Mentos.” Puzzled, she asked, “Really? Where?”
– “On my men feet!”

What was Buzz Aldrin’s favorite chocolate?
– A Mars bar

How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?
– First, invade ze kitchen.

The birds dug into the ground to have candy worms for dessert.

I got told a joke about candy bars
– It wasn’t that funny so I just snickered

Bob has 69 candy bars. He eats 42 of them and then stops eating. What does he have now?
– Diabetes.

I always get Halloween and Valentine’s Day confused.
– They’re both about candy and being something you’re not.

What did the lollipop say to the other lollipop?
– See you later sucker!

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
– Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

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