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Candy jokes 🍭🍬🍫 in 2023

I went trick or treating as Gandhi and kept all of my candy in a hat
– And when someone tried to take the candy from my hat i told them “My hat my candy”

As we were heading through the grocery store checkout, my wife looked over at the candy and said, “Oh, Mentos! Let’s get some!” I shrugged and said, “I already have Mentos.” Puzzled, she asked, “Really? Where?”
– “On my men feet!”

What was Buzz Aldrin’s favorite chocolate?
– A Mars bar

How does the recipe for German chocolate cake begin?
– First, invade ze kitchen.

The birds dug into the ground to have candy worms for dessert.

I got told a joke about candy bars
– It wasn’t that funny so I just snickered

Bob has 69 candy bars. He eats 42 of them and then stops eating. What does he have now?
– Diabetes.

I always get Halloween and Valentine’s Day confused.
– They’re both about candy and being something you’re not.

What did the lollipop say to the other lollipop?
– See you later sucker!

What do you call Chewbacca when he has chocolate stuck in his hair?
– Chocolate Chip Wookiee.

What does candy do when you tell it a joke?
– It Snickers.

How do you spell candy with two letters?
– C and Y

What do you call a train that eats toffee?
– A chew, chew train.

What kind of bean doesn’t grow in your garden?
– A jelly bean!

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick Jills candy But Jack got a shock and a mouth full of cock because Jills real name is Randy

When i was a kid, you could go into a store with a dollar and walk out with a soda, 4 candy bars, chips, and some gum…
– But now, they have security cameras everywhere

Aussie man reprimanded by judge for eating candy and nuts in her courtroom.
– Defense: “c’mon Judy, lighten up.. it’s just my trial mix”

What’s an aliens favorite candy?
– Martian-mellows

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