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Snake jokes 🐍 in 2022

Why can’t a snake rob a bank?
– Because they are unarmed.

Why do snakes always measure in inches?
– Because they don’t have any feet

What is a snake’s favorite school subject?
– Hisstory.

A snake walks into a bar.
– The bartender says, “How did you do that?”

What do you get when you cross a snake and a plane?
– A Boeing constrictor.

Baby snake: “Mommy, are we poisonous?”
– Mother snake: “Yes, son. Why?”
– Baby snake: “I just bit my tongue.”

I asked my snake: Would you like a keto burger?
– My anaconda: No!!!!!!!!!

What do snakes use to clean their car windows?
– Windscreen vipers.

How do venomous snakes kill their prey?
– In cold blood.

A drum set and a snake falls off a cliff.
– The drummer and pet shop owner are very sad now.

My friend told me he bought a 4 foot snake
– I told him that’s a weird way to describe a lizard.

Why don’t snakes drink coffee?
– Because it makes them viperactive.

What do you call a snake that is trying to become a bird?
– A feather boa.

How can you rescue a snake that looks dead?
– With mouse-to-mouth resuscitation.

Why did Woody have to wear sneakers?
– There was a snake in his boot.

What Snakes are best at dancing?
– Rattlesnakes, they like a Rhumba.

What is a snake’s favorite dance?
– The Mamba.

Why can’t you trust snakes?
– They speak with forked tongues.

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