Anti jokes in 2023

What’s worse than finding a worm in your apple?
– Being robbed.

Why was six afraid of seven?
– It wasn’t. Numbers aren’t sentient and are incapable of feeling fear.

How does the white-tail deer jump higher than the average house?
– This is due to their powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can’t jump.

Someone stole my mood ring.
– I don’t know how I feel about that.

Back in 1980, I fell off my bike, twisted my foot, and hurt my knee.
– I’m telling you this now because there was no social media in the ‘80s.

What did the monkey and pancake batter have in common?
– They both love bananas.

A minute passes.

What did the five fingers say to the face?
– Nothing. Fingers can’t talk.

How does the white-tail deer jump higher than the average house?
– This is due to their powerful hind legs and the fact that the average house can’t jump.

Why did the swan hiss?
– Biologically, it’s coded in their genes to do so when threatened.

Do you want to know what always makes me smile?
– Face muscles.

Why are friends a lot like snow?
– If you pee on them, they disappear.

What came first, the chicken or the egg?
– Dinosaurs.

A grasshopper walks into a bar, and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you.”
– The grasshopper replies, “What? You have a drink called Steve?”

Why did Jordan stay home from the party?
– He wasn’t invited.

Knock, knock.
– Come in!

What’s brown and sticky?
– A stick.

You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends…
– But you can’t rob a bank. That’s a felony.