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Monday Jokes in 2024

What subject did the snake learn in school on Monday?
-Hiss-tory!

Why was the pirate excited for school on Monday?
-He had arrrrt class!

onday: Greg, Tuesday: Ian, Wednesday: Greg, Thursday: Ian, Friday: Greg, Saturday: Ian, Sunday
-Greg – The Greg-or-Ian calendar!

Two elderly men sitting in park
-Two elderly men sitting in park. Both are starting to have Alzheimer symptoms. They discuss as they usually do on Monday PMs.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Heymon.
– Heymon who?
Heymonday is here already!

Why can’t Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday or Thursday lift Saturday or Sunday?
-Because Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are weak-days!

If a man arrived in a town with his horse on a Saturday and stayed there for one night, how is it possible that he arrived back home on Monday?
-The horse’s name was Monday!

I’m going my laundry on Monday instead of Sunday. I have the day off that day because of Martin Luther King day.
-In the spirit of the holiday, I am not going to separate my colors from my whites.

udging from all the misery and carnage on my newsfeed
– I’m assuming it’s Monday.

How did the hen feel on Monday?
-Eggshausted!

What do you call a person who is happy on Mondays?
-Unemployed

What did the teacher say to her aardvark student when he walked into class on Monday morning?
– Why the long face?

I’ve decided to dress as a different bread everyday next week.
-Roll on Monday.

How is today Monday?
-It was Friday only a few hours ago…Just remember, every day is a gift from God. Well except for I can always tell how good my weekend was by how many pictures I have to untag on Monday.

What day of the week are demons most tired?
-De-Monday!

What Do You Call Mondays without Any Zoom Meetings?
-Meetless Mondays

What’s the most annoying thing for NFL players starting the week?
-Monday morning quarterbacks…

Why did Selena Gomez dump The Weeknd on a Monday?
-She wished The Weeknd was longer.

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