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Monday Jokes in 2023

What subject did the snake learn in school on Monday?

Why was Sunday afraid of Monday?
-Because Monday through Friday!

-God gave us Mondays to punish us for the things we did over the weekend.

Why was the acid so rude on Monday?
-He was a-mean-o-acid…

Last year I bought an instructional boxing DVD on Cyber Monday.
-This year I’m going Black Friday shopping.

I have a bad case of the Mondays only it’s everyday and it’s called existence
-Keep calm and pretend today isn’t Monday.

Another Monday
-Uggggg……Another Monday is near. All I look forward to anymore is laying down and relaxing on the couch after a long day of sitting upright and being tense on the couch.

What did the cashew say on Monday?
– Mondays drive me nuts.

What did the cashew say on Monday morning?
-Monday always drives me nuts!

Thank God It’s Monday”
-My Liver

Why was the broom late for school on Monday?
-He over-swept!

I don’t understand it. My company told all employees to get tested for COVID-19, and to stay home until they get the test results. I got tested and called my boss to tell him I’m coming back to work on Monday. He asked me if I’m sure my test came back negative.
– I told him I was positive. He told me to stay home.

What does Sonic need a lot of on Mondays?
– Hedge-hugs.

Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday?
– He wanted to be a Smartie!

I’ve been keeping this a secret for almost a year now because I didn’t want to lose friends
-I don’t work on Mondays.

I’m inviting everyone reading this, to join me in a session to think about Stephen King’s iconic shape-shifting clown.
– Come to think of it.

My wife gives me head every Monday.
-She won’t let any of Sunday’s roast chicken go to waste.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
– Toothy who?
Toothy the day after Monday.

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