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Monday Jokes in 2021

Last year I bought an instructional boxing DVD on Cyber Monday.
-This year I’m going Black Friday shopping.

I have a bad case of the Mondays only itโ€™s everyday and itโ€™s called existence
-Keep calm and pretend today isnโ€™t Monday.

What subject did the snake learn in school on Monday?
-Hiss-tory!

Another Monday
-Uggggg……Another Monday is near. All I look forward to anymore is laying down and relaxing on the couch after a long day of sitting upright and being tense on the couch.

What did the cashew say on Monday?
– Mondays drive me nuts.

What did the cashew say on Monday morning?
-Monday always drives me nuts!

Thank God Itโ€™s Mondayโ€
-My Liver

Why was the broom late for school on Monday?
-He over-swept!

I don’t understand it. My company told all employees to get tested for COVID-19, and to stay home until they get the test results. I got tested and called my boss to tell him I’m coming back to work on Monday. He asked me if I’m sure my test came back negative.
– I told him I was positive. He told me to stay home.

What does Sonic need a lot of on Mondays?
– Hedge-hugs.

Why was the M&M excited to get to school on Monday?
– He wanted to be a Smartie!

Iโ€™ve been keeping this a secret for almost a year now because I didnโ€™t want to lose friends
-I donโ€™t work on Mondays.

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