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Dieting jokes 🥗 in 2022

Did you hear about this year’s newest fad diet coming out of New York and New Jersey?
– The swim-fast diet.

I had to quit my vegetarian diet
– Turns out they’re a lot harder to catch than cows.

Smoking promotes weight loss
..eventually

Doctor, I think I’m Bipolar!
– (Why’s That?) Because I hate to get fat but I love to eat

The very spiritual Gandhi walked everywhere, leaving him with impressive calluses. And he ate very little, which made him rather frail. His odd diet also plagued him with bad breath. I guess you could say…..
– That he was a super callused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Easily lose weight by cutting these two things out of your diet:
– Breakfast and dinner.
– My dad told me this joke please laugh.

My wife and I started dieting together and we have a combined weight loss of 60 Lbs!
– My wife is down 80 Lbs.

What should you never put in an ice cream sundae?
– A Spoon.

Feeding your cat a vegan diet is actually pretty easy.
– The trick is to cut up the vegans in to very small chunks first

I wanted to go on a diet…
– But I just have way too much on my plate right now…

Why shouldn’t you worry about gaining a few extra pounds?
– Fat people are harder to kidnap.

I started a new diet..
– Where I only eat things I can pronounce. I thought it would help me lose weight, but I just became a better reader.

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