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Dieting jokes ๐Ÿฅ— in 2021

What should you never put in an ice cream sundae?
– A Spoon.

Feeding your cat a vegan diet is actually pretty easy.
– The trick is to cut up the vegans in to very small chunks first

I wanted to go on a diet…
– But I just have way too much on my plate right now…

Why shouldn’t you worry about gaining a few extra pounds?
– Fat people are harder to kidnap.

I started a new diet..
– Where I only eat things I can pronounce. I thought it would help me lose weight, but I just became a better reader.

I was considering going on an all almond diet.
– But that’s just nuts.

Joaquin Phoenix won an award for weight loss transformation into Arthur Fleck in “Joker”.
– Atrophy.

Why do people on a diet eat TV dinners?
– So they could watch what they eat!

I’m on the Gin & Tonic diet and its going great….
– so far I’ve lost 2 days.

I needed to lose some weight so I went on a 3 month diet plan. I don’t want to brag, but…
…I just finished it in 72 hours.

A man invested in a weight loss diet from Britain
– He lost 10,000 pounds! But it didn’t work

What do you call a fascist vegan?
– Lactose intolerant.

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