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Milk jokes 🥛🍼 in 2024

Where do space cowboys go to get some milk?
– The Milky Way.

What did the wife say to her husband when he forgot to get the milk?
– I think I skimmed past it.

Where do cows eat lunch?
– In the calfeteria.

What do you get if you cross a cow and rooster?
– Roost beef.

What did the customer say to the cashier who asked if he wanted his milk in a bag?
– Just leave it in the carton, please.

What should you tell a cow that says she gives almond milk?
– You must be nuts.

Did you see the news about the person they found dead in a bathtub full of milk with banana slices in the milk?
– They think it was a cereal killer.

What did the puma say when he realized his pa has been gone to get the milk and hasn’t returned for hours?
– “Um…”

Why can’t Swiss cheese be part of a fat-free diet?
– It’s made with hole milk.

What type of milk can one get from a cow who is a dwarf?
– Condensed milk.

What do you say to a person with milk on their lip?
– Great mooostache!

So a man walks into a coffee house late in the afternoon and asks for a tall drink with 4 shots of espresso and the rest filled with milk.
The barista looks at him lightly concerned and she says,
Are you sure sir? That’s a latte coffee.

How do you know which cow is the best dancer?
– See which one has the best moo-ves.

Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
– Because their horn do not work.

I tried raising cows, but they didn’t produce any milk.
– Needless to say, my venture was an udder failure.

I tried to collect some wool and milk from my farm and the animals went crazy.
– It was shear and udder panic.

Why do cannibals prefer to eat pregnant women?
– Because of the kinder surprise and the extra portion milk.

What kind of shows do cows like best?
– Moosicals.

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