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Bean jokes in 2024

What do you call a pea that works in the circus?
– A tra-peas artist.

What is the deal with Egyptian pharaohs and people that eat beans?
– I hear they have a Tutankhamon

What do you call a Mexican baptism?
– Bean dip

What kind of shows do green beans do?
– Pod casts.

What do you call Muhammad Ali after he eats beans?
– Gaseous Clay

Why do baked beans want to move to Queensland (Australia)
Because they all want to live in Cairns!

(a city in Queensland Australia, for non aussies)

Sean Bean is the Narrator for Civilization VI
– So I guess he dies after the Bronze Age or …?

What do you call a bean that’s a zombie?
– A zom-bean.

I just realized today Jack and the Beanstalk is a communist story.
– It’s all about seizing the beans of production.

Whats the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea?
– I haven’t paid $500 to have a garbanzo bean in my face.

Did you hear about the coffee bean that committed murder?
– It was sentenced to death by decaffeination

When I was a kid I had a penpal who lived in southeast Asia who worked in an athletic clothes sweatshop. I would send him gifts from America and he would send me different clothes he made at work. His name was Chen, but I called him Bean Burrito.
– Because he made me puma pants.

Why are there exactly two hundred and thirty-nine beans in an Irish Bean Soup?
– Because if there were one more, it’d be too farty.

The three different life stages of a coffee bean: 1. still green at this, 2.bean there, done that, 3.has-bean.

What do you call a cat who likes to eat beans?
– Puss ‘n’ Toots!

You know the difference between a chick pea and a garbonzo bean?
– Nobody will pay to watch a garbonzo bean

Why do the Irish only put two hundred and thirty nine beans in their chili?
– Because if they added just one more bean, it would be too farty!

What is your favorite pirate movie?
– Pirates of the Carib-bean.

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