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Wednesday jokes in 2021

What is the good and bad thing about Wednesday?
– It is not Monday!

Wednesday and Thursday were named after the Norse Gods Odin and Thor…
– And if you really enjoy facts about Norse Gods then today is your Loki-day!

The Perfect Son
– A: I have the perfect son.

– B: Does he smoke?

– A: No, he doesn’t.

– B: Does he drink whiskey?

– A: No, he doesn’t.

– B: Does he ever come home late?

– A: No, he doesn’t.

– B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?

– A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.

If you are a 90s kid-you say I love my gaming system! Your friend says Then why don’t you marry it? You say Super! I will! What day is this scenario most likely to occur?

What did the tree say to Wednesday?
– Please, leaf me alone.

“What did the left eye say to the right eye?”
โ€””Between you and me, something smells.”

The owner of the local cinema died today
– His funeral is on:

– Monday 16:45, 18:30, 20:15

– Tuesday 15:30, 17:15, 19:00

– Wednesday 16:45, 18:30, 20:15

– Thursday 16:00, 17:45, 19:30

My friend Dave drowned yesterday
– his funeral is on Wednesday. I’ve made him a wreath in the shape of a buoyancy aid. It’s what he would have wanted.

People always told my dad that his pride would be the death of him
– and sure enough, he was eaten by his favorite lion just last Wednesday

What did the man, eating pickles, say to two of his friends who were cribbing about Wednesday?
– You two have got to dill with this hump today!

I went to the pub on Friday with my friends and didn’t come home until Sunday night. When i got home, my wife was so angry…
– She said “how would you like it if you didn’t see me for three days straight?”
– i said “that would be bloody lovely”.
– So I didn’t see her on the Monday, the Tuesday or the Wednesday, but by Thursday the swelling around my eyes went down enough to make her out again.

Why do most Americans spend Wednesday in the office?
– Because “White Men Can’t Hump”.

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