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Wednesday jokes in 2021

Why do Wednesdays feel unhappy?
– Because they are as close to the weekend as they are to Mondays.

I rang work and I said “I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough”
– The boss said “You have a wee cough?”

– I said “Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!”

Monday – Greg, Tuesday – Ian, Wednesday – Greg, Thursday – Ian, Friday – Greg, Saturday – Ian, Sunday – Greg
– The Gregorian calendar

Winston goes to church
– Winston goes to church and the vicar says “What’s wrong my son?”
– Winston says “I want you to pray for my hearing”.
– The vicar puts his hands on Winston’s ears and prays hard for ten minutes.
– “So how is your hearing?” asks the vicar.
– “I don’t know”, says Winston, “it isn’t until next Wednesday”.

How does Yoda get through Wednesday?
– By saying, “Half over the week is now!”

“How do you keep a bagel from getting away?”
โ€””Put lox on it.”

They’re predicting record highs for Wednesday.
– In other news the weather will be hotter than usual.

And that’s why I never argue with my wife.
– Wife : Don’t forget to pick up kids from school.

– Me : It’s Saturday, they’re both upstairs.

– Wife : It’s Wednesday and we’ve three kids.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday got into a fight…
– They wanted to see who was the weekest

What is it that will help get over the hump?
– A smile with an extra cup of coffee!

Shock Rocker Alice Cooper says he’s taken up Tap Dancing during lockdown, with online group lessons every Wednesday
– He says he’s making slow progress, but doing better than Elton John, who – after six weeks – is still standing.

What kind of bread do you eat on Wednesday?
– Hump-ernickel.

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