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Wednesday jokes in 2024

“What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?”
—”This tastes a little funny.”

“Stay strong! Weekend is coming soon.”

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?
– He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

Why do most Americans spend Wednesday in the office?
– Because “White Men Can’t Hump”.

“Why aren’t koalas actual bears?”
– “They don’t meet the koalafications.”

What are Wednesdays with no rain called?
– Parched hump days.

When’s the last time Christina Ricci was cute?
– Wednesday.

Why are Wednesdays boring for the first half of the week?
– Because they bring smiles only for the second half of the week.

Three old men, hard of hearing, are waiting at a bus stop on a hill, it’s winter time.
– The first man goes as he’s shivering “brrrr, it’s windy”!
– The second one responds “it’s not Wednesday, it’s Thursday”,
– And the third man says “I’m thirsty too, let’s go grab a beer”!

Keep calm it’s already Wednesday.

A woman implanted an advanced artificial intelligence into her old Nintendo gaming system so she could legally marry it. When did they get married?
– On Wednesday

What kind of bread do you eat on Wednesday?
– Hump-ernickel.

An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ.
– It is believed to be so offensive that St Mary’s church in Dublin have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy O’Neill from Dinlge has written a strongly worded letter.

– When will the madness end?

Of course Hugh Hefner died on a Wednesday
– We call it hump day for a reason.

What did the man, eating pickles, say to two of his friends who were cribbing about Wednesday?
– You two have got to dill with this hump today!

I went to the pub on Friday with my friends and didn’t come home until Sunday night. When i got home, my wife was so angry…
– She said “how would you like it if you didn’t see me for three days straight?”
– i said “that would be bloody lovely”.
– So I didn’t see her on the Monday, the Tuesday or the Wednesday, but by Thursday the swelling around my eyes went down enough to make her out again.

Why is International Women’s day on a Wednesday?
– Because it’s Hump Day!

Wedn-es-day?
– It comes after the night.

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