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Wednesday jokes in 2025

“What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?”
—”This tastes a little funny.”

“Stay strong! Weekend is coming soon.”

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?
– He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

Why do most Americans spend Wednesday in the office?
– Because “White Men Can’t Hump”.

“Why aren’t koalas actual bears?”
– “They don’t meet the koalafications.”

What are Wednesdays with no rain called?
– Parched hump days.

When’s the last time Christina Ricci was cute?
– Wednesday.

Why are Wednesdays boring for the first half of the week?
– Because they bring smiles only for the second half of the week.

Three old men, hard of hearing, are waiting at a bus stop on a hill, it’s winter time.
– The first man goes as he’s shivering “brrrr, it’s windy”!
– The second one responds “it’s not Wednesday, it’s Thursday”,
– And the third man says “I’m thirsty too, let’s go grab a beer”!

Keep calm it’s already Wednesday.

A woman implanted an advanced artificial intelligence into her old Nintendo gaming system so she could legally marry it. When did they get married?
– On Wednesday

What kind of bread do you eat on Wednesday?
– Hump-ernickel.

An amateur group of Islamic film makers have posted a video on YouTube which mocks Christianity and Jesus Christ.
– It is believed to be so offensive that St Mary’s church in Dublin have postponed their tea and cake morning until next Wednesday, and Dorothy O’Neill from Dinlge has written a strongly worded letter.

– When will the madness end?

Of course Hugh Hefner died on a Wednesday
– We call it hump day for a reason.

Why did the woman cry on a Wednesday evening?
– Because she thought it was whine Wednesday.

“Why couldn’t the bike stand on its own?”
— “Because it’s two tired.”

On Ash Wednesday I will be giving up spreadsheets for 40 days and 40 nights.
– It’s going to be completely Excel Lent.

Punny wednesday
– The phone rang ‘green green’ and so I pink up the phone.
– “Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can’t hear you purplerly, I’ll call you black later.”

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