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Wednesday jokes in 2023

“What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?”
—”This tastes a little funny.”

What are Wednesdays with no rain called?
– Parched hump days.

“Stay strong! Weekend is coming soon.”

When’s the last time Christina Ricci was cute?
– Wednesday.

Why did the Addams have the late man arrested?
– He was expected on Tuesday, but he came on Wednesday.

Why are Wednesdays boring for the first half of the week?
– Because they bring smiles only for the second half of the week.

Three old men, hard of hearing, are waiting at a bus stop on a hill, it’s winter time.
– The first man goes as he’s shivering “brrrr, it’s windy”!
– The second one responds “it’s not Wednesday, it’s Thursday”,
– And the third man says “I’m thirsty too, let’s go grab a beer”!

Keep calm it’s already Wednesday.

A woman implanted an advanced artificial intelligence into her old Nintendo gaming system so she could legally marry it. When did they get married?
– On Wednesday

Why do Wednesdays feel unhappy?
– Because they are as close to the weekend as they are to Mondays.

I rang work and I said “I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough”
– The boss said “You have a wee cough?”

– I said “Wow, thanks boss, see you next Wednesday!”

Monday – Greg, Tuesday – Ian, Wednesday – Greg, Thursday – Ian, Friday – Greg, Saturday – Ian, Sunday – Greg
– The Gregorian calendar

Winston goes to church
– Winston goes to church and the vicar says “What’s wrong my son?”
– Winston says “I want you to pray for my hearing”.
– The vicar puts his hands on Winston’s ears and prays hard for ten minutes.
– “So how is your hearing?” asks the vicar.
– “I don’t know”, says Winston, “it isn’t until next Wednesday”.

How does Yoda get through Wednesday?
– By saying, “Half over the week is now!”

“How do you keep a bagel from getting away?”
—”Put lox on it.”

They’re predicting record highs for Wednesday.
– In other news the weather will be hotter than usual.

And that’s why I never argue with my wife.
– Wife : Don’t forget to pick up kids from school.

– Me : It’s Saturday, they’re both upstairs.

– Wife : It’s Wednesday and we’ve three kids.

Sunday, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, and Saturday got into a fight…
– They wanted to see who was the weekest

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