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Wednesday jokes in 2022

What did the man, eating pickles, say to two of his friends who were cribbing about Wednesday?
– You two have got to dill with this hump today!

I went to the pub on Friday with my friends and didn’t come home until Sunday night. When i got home, my wife was so angry…
– She said “how would you like it if you didn’t see me for three days straight?”
– i said “that would be bloody lovely”.
– So I didn’t see her on the Monday, the Tuesday or the Wednesday, but by Thursday the swelling around my eyes went down enough to make her out again.

Why do most Americans spend Wednesday in the office?
– Because “White Men Can’t Hump”.

Why is International Women’s day on a Wednesday?
– Because it’s Hump Day!

Wedn-es-day?
– It comes after the night.

What is even worse than a long week?
– Realizing that it is just Wednesday.

Why is the d silent in Wednesday?
– Cause on hump day you’re already getting the D.

If Wednesday is hump day…
– Would that make Tuesday foreplay day?

The wife said she wanted to go and see
– the Jerry Springer show for her birthday.

– So I got her sister pregnant!!

– We’re on next Wednesday!

How do Ash Wednesdays inspire New Years’?
– They help you to stay strong and give up on new year resolutions as a sacrifice.

“What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?”
—”This tastes a little funny.”

People always told my dad that his pride would be the death of him
– and sure enough, he was eaten by his favorite lion just last Wednesday

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