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Turtle Jokes 🐢 in 2023

What do you call a flying turtle?
-A shellicopter.

What do you call a famous turtle?
-A shellebrity.

What kind of jokes do turtles tell?
-Shell-larious ones.

What do you call a famous turtle?
-A shell-ebrity.

What does a turtle need to wear when he rides a bike?
-A shell-met.

Did you hear about the self-help book written by a turtle?
-It was a New York Times’ Best Sheller!

What do you get when you cross a turtle with a porcupine?
-A slowpoke.

What’s something a turtle can’t do when you put it on its back?
-It can’t believe you’ve done this

A guy walking to library and asks for a book on sea turtles.
-The librarian asks “hard back?”
The guy replies “yeah little heads too.”

What kind of photos do turtles take?
-Shell-fies.

What is a turtle’s favorite kind of sweater?
-A turtle neck.

What’s a turtle’s favorite sandwich?
– Seanut butter and jellyfish.

Why did Shredder have a shower before leaving the turtles lair?
-Because he wanted to make a clean getaway.

What can you catch from a vampire in winter-time?
-Frost-bite!

There are two turtles in a tank…
-one says to the other, “how do you drive this thing?”

Why can’t a turtle stand up?
-Because of a reptile dysfunction.

What do you need to do to buy a rare turtle?
-You have to shell out a ton of money.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.
– When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

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