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Turtle Jokes 🐢 in 2022

What’s something a turtle can’t do when you put it on its back?
-It can’t believe you’ve done this

What do you call a flying turtle?
-A shellicopter.

Why did the turtle cross the road?
-To get to the Shell station.

What kind of jokes do turtles tell?
-Shell-larious ones.

How did the Turtle beat the Hare?
-It used a razor.

Where do you send turtles who commit crimes?
-To the shell block.

What do you get if you cross a turtle and a lama?
-A turtle neck sweater.

Why can’t a turtle stand up?
-Because of a reptile dysfunction.

What do you call a famous turtle?
-A shell-ebrity.

What do you need to do to buy a rare turtle?
-You have to shell out a ton of money.

A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails.
– When the police show up, they ask him what happened. The shaken turtle replies, “I don’t know. It all happened so fast.”

Where do homeless turtles go?
-To the Shellter 🙂

I got invited to a costume party, so I went as a turtle.
-I had a shell of a time.

What happens if you get into a fight with one of the famous Ninja Turtles?
– You get shell shocked.

A snail witnessed two turtles collide and have an accident. He was asked what he saw….
– He said, “I’m not sure, it all happened so fast.”

Why is turtle wax so expensive?
-Because their ears are so small.

What do you get if you cross a turtle and a porcupine?
-A slowpoke.

One of my best teachers in high school was a turtle.
– I remember everything he tortoise.

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