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Science jokes 🔬 in 2024

Why did the physicist break up with the biologist?
-There was no chemistry.

What did one decimal say to the number?
Did you get my point?

They just found the gene for shyness.
They would have found it sooner, but it was hiding behind two other genes.

What did the infectious disease say when the bartender refused him service?
-Well, you’re not a very good host.

A neutron walks into a bar and says, “I’d like a beer. How much will that be?”
The bartender answers, “For you? No charge!”

Two blood cells met and fell in love.
Alas it was all in vein.

There’s a night club just for chemistry students…. I hear they’re really good at dropping the base

Helium walks into a bar and asks for a drink.
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve noble gases here.”
Helium doesn’t react.

Why couldn’t the astronaut book a room on the moon?
It was full!

Why do chemists like nitrates so much?
They’re cheaper than day rates.

What will never go viral no matter how popular they get?
-Antibiotics.

Want to hear a joke about potassium?
-K.

What’s a pirate’s favorite element?
-Aaaaargon

What did the science book say to the math book?
-You’ve got problems.

Why did the hipster chemist get burned?
-He touched the beaker before it was cool!

The optimist sees the glass half full.
The pessimist sees the glass half empty.
The engineer sees a two times too large.

A photon checks into a hotel and is asked if he needs any help with his luggage.
-He says, “No, I’m traveling light.”

What do you call a periodic table with gold missing?
Au revoir.

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