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Psychology jokes ๐Ÿง  in 2021

The psychologist and psychiatrist society says talking to plants and pots during the pandemic is perfectly normal…
– Seek help, if they start talking back…

What did the hypnotherapist say to the client that always whined about his age?
– If you want, we can go back 10 years.

I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician…
– …when I pulled a habit out of a rat.

My psychiatrist said….
– “Tell me, how long have you been having these hallucinations about seeing a psychiatrist?”

What did the behaviorist ask the other behaviorist when he bumped into him on the street?
– How am I performing today?

What did the depressed statistician say when the psychologist asked if someone had been mean to him?
– I don’t remember, but probably.

When I was younger my parents sent me to a child psychologist
– That kid didn’t help at all.

Why don’t you ever overhear a psychology major in the bathroom?
– Their ‘p’ is always silent.

Narcissist to best mate: ‘I just love my new girlfriend. We like all the same things. She loves me, and I love me!

My psychologist told me:
– “Write letters to the people you hate and later on you burn them.”

– I have done so, but now I don’t know what to do with the letters…

How did the husband try reverse psychology on his wife who thought she was always right?
– He left her.

My psychologist says I have an obsession with vengeance
– We’ll see about that

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