Most Popular Categories

All Categories

Psychology jokes 🧠 in 2024

My psychiatrist said….
– “Tell me, how long have you been having these hallucinations about seeing a psychiatrist?”

When I was younger my parents sent me to a child psychologist
– That kid didn’t help at all.

My psychologist says I have trouble identifying my emotions
– Not quite sure how I feel about it

What did the bouncer say to the psychology major and his friends, Ego and Superego?
– I’m sorry I can’t let you enter without Id.

How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
– Just one, but it takes nine visits.

Why was the moralist not allowed inside the bar?
– He didn’t have a valid Id.

What did the client tell the psychologist when she questioned him about his co-dependency issues?
– If that’s what you think, I agree.

Secretary to Psychologist: “Doctor, there is a patient here who thinks he is invisible.”
– Psychologist: “Tell him I can’t see him right now.”

What do you get when you cross a banana peel with a psychologist ?
– A freudian slip.

What was Waldo going to start psychotherapy?
– He wanted to find himself.

A client comes for his first therapy session. He has a small cucumber up his nose, a carrot in his left ear, and a banana in his right ear.
– “Can you help me figure out what’s wrong with me?”
– he asks the therapist. The therapist replies, “You’re not eating properly.”

“Doctor,” said the receptionist over the phone, “there’s a patient here who thinks he’s invisible.”

– “Well, tell him I can’t see him right now.”

How many people with narcissism does it take to change to change a tire?
– You only need one. He’ll hold the tire and the world will revolve around him.

Why do horse psychology majors always end up performing better than the other animals?
– Their studying environment is a little more stable than the others’.

The psychologist and psychiatrist society says talking to plants and pots during the pandemic is perfectly normal…
– Seek help, if they start talking back…

What did the hypnotherapist say to the client that always whined about his age?
– If you want, we can go back 10 years.

I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician…
– …when I pulled a habit out of a rat.

What did the behaviorist ask the other behaviorist when he bumped into him on the street?
– How am I performing today?

Follow us on Facebook