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Psychology jokes 🧠 in 2023
Psychology is one of the popular subjects at school. With students from various disciplines, it’s a subject many can relate to. As such, we have Psychologist Jokes to add fun to it. So, while you try to understand how the mind works, make it more interesting with hilarious psychology jokes.
My psychiatrist said….
– “Tell me, how long have you been having these hallucinations about seeing a psychiatrist?”
When I was younger my parents sent me to a child psychologist
– That kid didn’t help at all.
My psychologist says I have trouble identifying my emotions
– Not quite sure how I feel about it
What did the bouncer say to the psychology major and his friends, Ego and Superego?
– I’m sorry I can’t let you enter without Id.
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
– Just one, but it takes nine visits.
Why was the moralist not allowed inside the bar?
– He didn’t have a valid Id.
The psychologist and psychiatrist society says talking to plants and pots during the pandemic is perfectly normal…
– Seek help, if they start talking back…
What did the hypnotherapist say to the client that always whined about his age?
– If you want, we can go back 10 years.
I knew I was destined to be a psychologist not a magician…
– …when I pulled a habit out of a rat.
What did the behaviorist ask the other behaviorist when he bumped into him on the street?
– How am I performing today?
What did the depressed statistician say when the psychologist asked if someone had been mean to him?
– I don’t remember, but probably.
Why don’t you ever overhear a psychology major in the bathroom?
– Their ‘p’ is always silent.
Narcissist to best mate: ‘I just love my new girlfriend. We like all the same things. She loves me, and I love me!
My psychologist told me:
– “Write letters to the people you hate and later on you burn them.”
– I have done so, but now I don’t know what to do with the letters…
How did the husband try reverse psychology on his wife who thought she was always right?
– He left her.
My psychologist says I have an obsession with vengeance
– We’ll see about that
As a child, I wanted to be a psychologist.
– But my parents told me, “We’re a-Freud you’re too Jung for that.”
Sandy: Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a dog.
– Doctor: Lie down on the couch and I’ll examine you.
– Sandy: I can’t, I’m not allowed on the furniture.