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Programming Jokes 💻 in 2022

Why do programmers like dark mode?
– Because light attracts bugs

Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
-It’s an new Al-Gore-rithm

A programmer’s wife tells him: “While you’re at the store, get some milk”.
– He never comes back.

What do the programmers do when they pay respect?
-They printf

Harry Potter was a programmer
-He is fluent in Python

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says,
-Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!” To this, the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

The two most difficult things in programming…
– The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.

How does the computer programmer order all her books?
-By the Dewey Hexadecimal System!

New Programming language.
– Hello! I’m developing a new programming language and I would probably make it open sourced in a little bit once I finish the syntax. But I wanted to hear some suggestions about a good name for the language. It’s a higher level scripting language capable of hardware interaction. Right now it’s called Halec but I want something better.

If my wife thinks I’m obsessed with programming, she’s crazy.
– Endif

What do spanish programmers code in?
-Sí ++

Define programmers
-The mythical creatures who solve all the problems of lesser mortals without having to move from their desks.

I asked the librarian for level 5 programming books.
– Instead he gave me some programming 101 book. I don’t why

What kind of programming do trans robots have?
-Non-Binary

Children with only a mother make horrible programmers
-Theres always missing paren

A programmer’s wife…
-A programmer’s wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions, “get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.” He comes home with a dozen loaf of bread and tells her, “they had eggs.”

Java is the most misogynistic programming language in existence
-It thinks women are objects

Which way did the programmer go?
-He went data way!

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