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Programming Jokes 💻 in 2023

Why do programmers like dark mode?
– Because light attracts bugs

What do cats and programmers have in common?
-When either one is unusually happy and excited, an appropriate question would be, “did you find a bug?”

Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
-It’s an new Al-Gore-rithm

A programmer’s wife tells him: “While you’re at the store, get some milk”.
– He never comes back.

My girlfriend told me I care more about my programming job than about her.
-I told her she is the #1 thing I care about.

What do the programmers do when they pay respect?
-They printf

Harry Potter was a programmer
-He is fluent in Python

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says,
-Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!” To this, the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

Programming jokes are fun…
– but only when executed properly.

Why was the programmer always running into walls?
-He couldn’t see sharp.

The two most difficult things in programming…
– The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.

Why couldn’t the programmer dance to the song?
-Because he didn’t get the… algo-rhythm…

My surgeon used to be a C programmer
-he ends all his procedures with a semi-colonoscopy.

Why do programmers always mix up Halloween and Christmas?
-Because Oct 31 equals Dec 25
For non-programmers: (octal 31 = decimal 25)

What are the computers of the Star Wars universe programmed to handle?

I watched so many programming tutorial videos in college
– My inner monologue started developing an Indian accent

I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect….
-Then they fried me for no raisin.

How programmers curse?
-Oh shift!

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