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Programming Jokes 💻 in 2024

Why do programmers like dark mode?
– Because light attracts bugs

What do cats and programmers have in common?
-When either one is unusually happy and excited, an appropriate question would be, “did you find a bug?”

Scientists and programmers have gotten together to write computer code that will not only warn of future global warming but also take credit for inventing the internet.
-It’s an new Al-Gore-rithm

A programmer’s wife tells him: “While you’re at the store, get some milk”.
– He never comes back.

What do the programmers do when they pay respect?
-They printf

Harry Potter was a programmer
-He is fluent in Python

A man is smoking a cigarette and blowing smoke rings into the air. His girlfriend becomes irritated with the smoke and says,
-Can’t you see the warning on the cigarette pack? Smoking is hazardous to your health!” To this, the man replies, “I am a programmer. We don’t worry about warnings; we only worry about errors.”

Programming jokes are fun…
– but only when executed properly.

Why was the programmer always running into walls?
-He couldn’t see sharp.

The two most difficult things in programming…
– The two most difficult things in programming are memory management, naming things, and off by one errors.

My girlfriend told me I care more about my programming job than about her.
-I told her she is the #1 thing I care about.

I used to work as a programmer for autocorrect….
-Then they fried me for no raisin.

How programmers curse?
-Oh shift!

What is the most used language in programming?

I know I did okay on today’s programming test…
…because my teacher gave me a C++.

Programmer fired for following bad practice.
-Refuses to comment.

I’ve been programming too much
-I can barely cout of my eyes

Why did the programmer get a huge telephone bill?
-Because his program was CALLING a lot of subroutines.

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