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Pharmacy jokes 💊 in 2024

Did you hear about the pharmacist who got hit with a bottle of omega 3?
– They are okay, the injuries were superfishoil.

A duck walks into the pharmacy to purchase chapstick.

– And asks the cashier to put it on his bill.

Do you have an inhaler?
– You took my breath away.

You make my dopamine levels all silly.

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter.

– The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

– “Eight,” the boy replied.

– The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”

– The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him… He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either”

Even Pepcid AC can’t stop my heart from burning for you.

Pharmacists find their work to be very encapsulating.

I was shocked when the registered pharmacist was arrested for prostitution.
– She also knew me very well since I have been a customer for years!

– But I NEVER knew she was a pharmacist!

I need an Imodium, because I can’t hold in my love for you.

A duck waddles into the drug store and says, “Sorry, I don’t have my wallet today but I need to buy a condom.” The pharmacist says, “No problem. Shall I just put it on your bill?”
– The duck exclaims, “Sir! What kind of a duck do you think I am?”

You breathe oxygen?
– We have so much in common.

What do you call a pharmacist working at a veterinary drug company…
– a FARM-ASSIST

I can’t believe I failed my drug test today.

– Looks like I’ll never be a pharmacist.

Can I bother you for an aspirin tablet?
– Just looking at you from across the room is giving me heart-related pains.

It’s not easy being a pharmacist…

– Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the Motrins.

chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
– “You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.

– “That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

A pharmacist is going over the directions on a prescription bottle with an elderly patient.
– “Be sure not to take this more often than every 4 hours,”
– the pharmacist says. “Don’t worry,” replies the patient. “It takes me 4 hours to get the lid off”.

A Linux sysadmin walks into a pharmacy

– “Ephedrine?”

– “I can’t serve you that”

– “Sudoephedrine.”

– “There you go”.

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