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Pharmacy jokes 💊 in 2022

I can’t believe I failed my drug test today.

– Looks like I’ll never be a pharmacist.

A duck walks into the pharmacy to purchase chapstick.

– And asks the cashier to put it on his bill.

Even Pepcid AC can’t stop my heart from burning for you.

chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
– “You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.

– “That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

I was shocked when the registered pharmacist was arrested for prostitution.
– She also knew me very well since I have been a customer for years!

– But I NEVER knew she was a pharmacist!

A doctor is to give a speech at the local AMA dinner. He jots down notes for his speech.
– Unfortunately, when he stands in front of his colleagues later that night, he finds that he can’t read his notes.
– So he asks, “Is there a pharmacist in the house?”

A frog hops into a pharmacy to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks if he wants smooth or ribbed ones. The frog replies….
– “ribbit”

I need an Imodium, because I can’t hold in my love for you.

I bought a really expensive laxative from the pharmacy.
– It gave me a good run for my money.

Are you a box of BD pen needles?
– Because you are ultra-fine.

Customer: One box of condoms, please.
– Pharmacist: That will be $9.99 plus tax

– Customer: Tacks? I thought they stayed on by themselves!

What do you call a priest hitting up a pharmacy?
– A pillgrim.

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