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Pharmacy jokes 💊 in 2022

Do you have an inhaler?
– You took my breath away.

I need an Imodium, because I can’t hold in my love for you.

A duck walks into the pharmacy to purchase chapstick.

– And asks the cashier to put it on his bill.

Even Pepcid AC can’t stop my heart from burning for you.

Pharmacists find their work to be very encapsulating.

You make my dopamine levels all silly.

I was shocked when the registered pharmacist was arrested for prostitution.
– She also knew me very well since I have been a customer for years!

– But I NEVER knew she was a pharmacist!

I can’t believe I failed my drug test today.

– Looks like I’ll never be a pharmacist.

chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
– “You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.

– “That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

Our local politician just opened a neighborhood pharmacy store.

– He is now a piller of the community.

Well, aren’t you a sight for psoriasis!

A duck strolled into the pharmacy…
– Asks if there’s any chapstick. Pharmacist hands over the product and says “that’ll be $3.59”. No, no, says the duck, just put it on my bill.

Girl, you’re so expensive, my insurance is requiring a prior authorization before our first date.

Can I bother you for an aspirin tablet?
– Just looking at you from across the room is giving me heart-related pains.

A pharmacist is going over the directions on a prescription bottle with an elderly patient.
– “Be sure not to take this more often than every 4 hours,”
– the pharmacist says. “Don’t worry,” replies the patient. “It takes me 4 hours to get the lid off”.

I bought a pack of condoms and the pharmacist asked if I’d like a bag for that.
– I said, “no I’m good, she’s actually quite pretty”

A newborn pony walks into a pharmacy.

– He asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any Cepacol lozenges? I’m a little hoarse.”

Propranolol is red, digoxin is blue. My heart skips a beat when I see you.

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