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Pharmacy jokes 💊 in 2023

A duck walks into the pharmacy to purchase chapstick.

– And asks the cashier to put it on his bill.

Even Pepcid AC can’t stop my heart from burning for you.

Do you have an inhaler?
– You took my breath away.

Pharmacists find their work to be very encapsulating.

I need an Imodium, because I can’t hold in my love for you.

Did you hear about the pharmacist who got hit with a bottle of omega 3?
– They are okay, the injuries were superfishoil.

chemist walks into a pharmacy and asks the pharmacist, “Do you have any acetylsalicylic acid?”
– “You mean aspirin?” asked the pharmacist.

– “That’s it! I can never remember that word.”

You make my dopamine levels all silly.

What do you call a pharmacist working at a veterinary drug company…

I was shocked when the registered pharmacist was arrested for prostitution.
– She also knew me very well since I have been a customer for years!

– But I NEVER knew she was a pharmacist!

I can’t believe I failed my drug test today.

– Looks like I’ll never be a pharmacist.

A duck waddles into the drug store and says, “Sorry, I don’t have my wallet today but I need to buy a condom.” The pharmacist says, “No problem. Shall I just put it on your bill?”
– The duck exclaims, “Sir! What kind of a duck do you think I am?”

You breathe oxygen?
– We have so much in common.

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter.

– The man at the counter asked the older boy, “Son, how old are you?”

– “Eight,” the boy replied.

– The man continued, “Do you know what these are used for?”

– The boy replied, “Not exactly, but they aren’t for me. They’re for him… He’s my brother. He’s four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can’t do either”

Can I bother you for an aspirin tablet?
– Just looking at you from across the room is giving me heart-related pains.

It’s not easy being a pharmacist…

– Sometimes I feel like I’m just going through the Motrins.

You’re so pharma-cute-ical!

Side effects may include infatuation, racing heart, and lowered inhibitions.

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