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Grammar Jokes ✏️ in 2022

Never date an apostrophe
-They’re too possessive.

Why are writers always cold?
-They’re surrounded by drafts.

Whoever put the “b” in SUBTLE
-deserves a pat on the back.

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
-To
To who?
It’s ‘to whom’.

What did the period say to the sentence?
-We better stop now!

If you don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”
-your an idiot.

Never leave alphabet soup on the stove and then go out.
-It could spell disaster.

Last night my classroom was broken into and all of the dictionaries were stolen.
– I’m lost for words.

When I was young there was only 25 letters in the Alphabet?
-Nobody knew why.

Which word is shorter when you add two letters to it?
-Short.

“A woman, without her man, is nothing.”
“A woman: without her, man is nothing.”
-Punctuation is important.

let’s eat kids. Let’s eat. Kids.
-use a comma. Saves lives.

A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar,
– drinking to drink.

There’s only 1 rule in English Grammar:
-Won: Their our know rules.

Why shouldn’t you date apostrophes?
-They’re too possessive.

I’m close friends with 25 letters of the alphabet…
– I don’t know Y.

People threaten me when I correct their grammar.
-But they’re the ones who end up in comma.

An English teacher was lecturing to a large class. She said, ‘In many languages, a double negative indicates a positive. In some languages, a double negative is still a negative. However, there are no languages in which a double positive indicates a negative.
-A voice from the back of the room chimes in, ‘Yeah, right!

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