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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2024

Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
– The lettuce was ahead and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?
– Because the tomato sauce couldn’t Ketchup.

What do you call a tomato that self-identifies as a carrot?
– A Transplant.

A study shows that eating 2oz of concentrated tomato sauce per day can keep a man’s sperm count up
– If you keep that up, your girlfriend just may get Prego.

If I were a farmer, how would I measure my height?
– From my head, tomatoes.

How do you describe a tomato with a trumpet?
– A tooty fruity.

Why is a tomato round and red?
– Because if it was long, skinny, and green, it would be a bean.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit.
Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

What looks like a half tomato?
– The other half

I’m setting up a tomato stall.
– I’ve spotted a gap in the market.

What is red and goes up and down?
– A tomato in an elevator.

A man orders a tomato soup at a restaurant..
As soon as waiter brings the soup he started yelling at waiter and ask him to taste the soup.

Waiter “sorry sir we’re not allowed to do that. I will bring you another one.”

He still kept yelling at him and asked him to taste the soup.

Waiter was nervous by now so he told the man that “I will call the manager”

As soon as manager arrives, he starts yelling at him and asked him to taste the soup.

Manager apologies and tells the same that it is not in their policy and he asks waiter to bring another one.

But the man wouldn’t stop asking manager to taste the soup.

Finally, manager gives up and said , “ok. I will taste the soup. Please give me the spoon.”

Man said “exactly “

I used to bathe in tomato ketchup
In heinz-site, it wasn’t the best idea

What did the fast tomato say to the slow tomato?
– Come on, ketchup!

Why did the tomato go out with a prune?
– Because he couldn’t find a date.

What did the papa tomato say to the baby tomato?
– “Hurry and ketchup!”

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say to his Tomato seeds after watering them for the first time?
– You have been germinated.

A tomato; a tap and a hat were having a race…
– the tap was running but the hat was on ahead while the tomato couldn’t ketchup.

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