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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2024

Did you hear about the race between the lettuce and the tomato?
– The lettuce was ahead and the tomato was trying to ketchup.

Why did the mayonnaise win the running race?
– Because the tomato sauce couldn’t Ketchup.

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul.
Even if it’s cold. Over ice. With a celery stalk. And vodka

A tomato officer with its team walks to Salad’s house and knocks on the door.
– “Lettuce in!”

My wife asked me to put tomato ketchup on the shopping list that I was writing out.
– I can’t read a word now.

What is the tomato’s greatest desire?
– A jerrymato.

What is red and goes up and down?
– A tomato in an elevator.

Why is the tomato red?
– Because it’s angry that it can’t ride a bicycle

Why did the people in the race wait for the tomato? (first joke I ever made as a kid)
– So it could catch up.

What did the tomato say to the potato?
– “I’ll ketchup with you later.”

Someone has been adding soil to my garden.
– The plot thickens.

A man tried to start a fight by throwing dough, shredded cheese, and tomato sauce at me.
– So I said, “You wanna pizza me?”

A tomato walks into a bar and asks for a drink…
The bartender says, “Sorry, we don’t serve food here.”

There are a Mommy tomato, a Daddy tomato and a little baby tomato. They are all going on a walk. The baby tomato is very slow and is falling behind, so what do the Mommy and Daddy tomato say?
– Catch up!

What looks like a half tomato?
– The other half.

How life is like ketchup?
– Like ketchup, good things in life come slow and are worth waiting for.

Three guys just met and they have a conversation about different sorts of paste
The first guy says: “I know everything about tomato paste, because I own an Italian restaurant.”

The second guy says: “I know everything about toothpaste, because I am a dentist.”

The third guy says: “I know everything about copy-paste, because I visit /r/jokes.”

Put some lettuce, sliced tomatoes, cucumber in front of a chicken, what does it see?
– The chicken sees a salad!

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