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Tomato jokes 🍅 in 2022

How do you get rid of lazy tomato employees?
– Can them.

My daughter was inspecting our seedlings this morning: “The tomato is catching up with the other plants! But I shouldn’t be surprised…”
“Of course a tomato would ketchup.”

She’s only five and already a dad…

Did you hear about the salad race?
– The lettuce was ahead and the tomato tried to ketchup!

I planted my tomato plants too late this year.
– Now they’re playing ketchup.

Why did the tomato blush?
– Because he saw the salad dressing.

What type of tomato smells best?
– A Roma

A very curious customer asked a local tomato farmer if their tomatoes are genetically modified.
– “No.” Said the farmer “No.” Said the tomato

Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
– Because they can’t ketchup.

What caused the bread to knock over the tomato?
– Because he loafed him.

What’s the difference between knowledge and wisdom?
– Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

A woman’s garden is growing beautifully but the tomatoes won’t ripen. She goes to her neighbor and says, ”Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?”
Her neighbor replies, ”Well, it may sound absurd but here’s what to do. Tonight there’s no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they’ll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they’ll all be red, you’ll see.”

She says Well, what the heck it can’t hurt to try it.

Next day her neighbor asks how it worked.

“So so,” she answers. “The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer.”

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I like to put coriander on my blended tomatoes.
– It’s soup herb.

Is there anything red and invisible?
– No tomatoes.

Why are tomatoes the slowest vegetable?
– Because they can’t ketchup.

(OC) guy at work doesn’t like tomatoes, so I asked him,
What’s it like, to-hate-o to-mah-to?

(OC cuz I thought of it myself but I’ll admit I’m sure someone somewhere has said this before)

How do you fix a broken pizza?
– Tomato paste.

I love to smother my burger with lots of chunky tomato, onion and garlic condiment.
– I really relish it.

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