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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2023

What did the football coach say to the broken vending machine?
– Give me my quarterback.

Why do people say that if we want to get rich, we should keep our mouths shut?
– Probably because silence is supposed to be gold.

Why can’t the dog lawyers make much money?
– It’s because they are all pro-bone-O.

What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
– A very witch person.

A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it

What type of money do crabs use?
– Sand dollars.

Why did the robbers take a bath before they were going to steal from the bank?
– Because they wanted to make clean getaway.

A girl asks her mother “How old are you?” Her mother replied “Older than most mortgages.”

Up until I bought this bag of chips I thought the air was free.

Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
– He wanted cold, hard cash!

What is brown and has a head and a tail, but no legs?
– A penny.

How much money would you be left with if you win $5 million on the lottery and decide to donate a quarter of that to charity?
– You’ll still have $4,999,999.75.

In England, what would you be called if you had to pay money to live inside a toilet?
– You’d probably be called a loo tenant.

Money talks …but all mine ever says is good-bye.

How much money does a skunk have? One scent!

What has a hundred heads and a hundred tails?
– One hundred pennies.

How can you become rich by eating?
– You should eat fortune cookies.

Why should you invest all your money in yeast?
– Because it has the ability to make your dough rise.

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