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Money jokes 💰💲 in 2024

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
– With Tyrannosaurus checks.

When does it start raining money?
– When there’s a change in the weather.

Why wasn’t the criminal able to steal all the money alone?
– Because she was banking on her friends to help her.

College is the opposite of kidnapping. They demand $100,000 from you or they’ll send your kid back.

People are living longer than ever before, a phenomenon undoubtedly made necessary by the 30-year mortgage

How much money does a skunk have?
– One scent.

What did the penny say to its friend, the other penny?
– It said, “Let’s meet and make some cents”.

How do dinosaurs pay their bills?
– With Tyrannosaurus checks!

Where do penguins keep their money?
– In snowbanks.

What coin doubles in value when half is deducted?
– A half dollar

Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Yolanda who?
Yolanda me some money.

What would a stockbroker say to another stockbroker when they wanted the other person to stop talking?
– They’d probably say, “Put a stock in it”.

My daughter wants to be really scary this Halloween so instead of a costume, she is going to carry a school fundraising packet to every door.

If you can count your money, you don’t have a billion dollars.

Where can you always find money?
– In the dictionary.

What would you call it if you crossed a millionaire with a sorceress?
– Ms Richie Witch.

What would you name it if you took an exam about bad puns on how to scam money from people?
– It’d be called a pun-ching con-test.

I remember being in so much debt that I couldn’t afford my electricity bills, it was a dark time.

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