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Holiday jokes ๐Ÿ–๏ธ in 2022

My performance in โ€œIโ€™m so sad I canโ€™t make it to your Christmas partyโ€ is already generating Oscar buzz.

You know youโ€™re getting old when Santa starts looking younger

What does Jack Frost like best about school?
– What?
– Snow and tell.

What happened to the thief who stole a Christmas calendar?

– He got 12 months.

Why didn’t the tree get a present?

– He was knotty.

Did you hear about the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
– He got 25 days.

Whatโ€™s a sheepโ€™s favourite Christmas song?
– Fleece Navidad.

What did the gingerbread man put on his bed?
– What?
– A cookie sheet.

Whatโ€™s the difference between Santaโ€™s reindeer and a knight?
– What?
– One slays the dragon, and the otherโ€™s dragginโ€™ the sleigh.

Who delivers Christmas presents to elephants?

– Elephanta Claus.

My kids: Can we decorate for Christmas now?!
– Me: Sure. [Puts Santa hat on pumpkin.]

What do you call a kid who doesnโ€™t believe in Santa?
– A rebel without a Claus.

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