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Holiday jokes ๐Ÿ–๏ธ in 2024

I love this time of year!
– You mean you โ€˜oveโ€™ it.
– What?
– Because thereโ€™s Noรซl.

I like to put up Christmas decorations in stages.
– This is the stage where I sit on the couch with lasagna and stare at the boxes.

Knock! Knock!
– Whoโ€™s there?
– Yule log.
– Yule log who?
– Yule log the door after you let me in, wonโ€™t you?

What do you call a shark that delivers toys at Christmas?
– Iโ€™m stumped.
– โ€œSanta Jaws!โ€

What happens if you eat Christmas decorations?

– You get tinselitus

What do you get if you mix a vampire with a snowman?

– Frostbite!

What does the Gingerbread Man use to make his bed?
– Cookie sheets!

If you like Christmas so much, why donโ€™t you merry it?

Where do polar bears vote?
– Where?
– The North Poll!

How do sheep wish each other happy holidays?

– Merry Christmas to ewe.

The Twelve Days of Christmasโ€ is completely unrealistic.
– There is no way that youโ€™re still accepting gifts from someone after four days of birds.

Christmas: the time when everyone gets Santamental.

Whatโ€™s Pedroโ€™s favorite part of Christmas?
– What?
– Elfalfa milkshakes!

Knock, knock!
– Whoโ€™s there?
– Dexter.
– Dexter, who?
– Dexter halls with boughs of holly.

Why didnโ€™t Rudolph get a good report card?

– Because he went down in history.

How to make a Christmas song:
– Add sleigh bells
– Thatโ€™s it, youโ€™re done

The Hanukkah miracle is that the menorah oil lasted eight extra days.
– I re-create this miracle with every tube of toothpaste.

Where do snowmen keep their money?
– Beats me.
– In a snow bank.

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