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Holiday jokes ๐Ÿ–๏ธ in 2023

The office holiday party is a great place to meet everyone youโ€™ve been emailing from ten feet away.

My friend reviewed her young sonโ€™s fill-in-the-blank homework. One line: โ€œAt Christmas, we exchange gifts with ____.โ€
– His response: โ€œReceipts.โ€

Teacher: Johnny, define claustrophobia.
– Johnny: Fear of Santa Claus?

What is an elfโ€™s favorite sport?

– North-pole vaulting.

Letโ€™s go get a Christmas tree!โ€
โ€” A divorce story.

One of my four nephews just brought me wine and said, โ€œHereโ€™s your Christmas juice,โ€ and now heโ€™s the one Iโ€™m leaving everything to.

Someone must be mad at Frosty the Snowman.
– Why?
– Because they gave him two black eyes.

What do you get when you eat Christmas ornaments?
– Not sure.
– Tinsel-itis!

What kind of ball doesnโ€™t bounce?

– A snowball.

Our new neighbours thought our Wi-Fi network was our last name.
– So when they gave us a Christmas card, they addressed it to โ€œThe Linksys Family.โ€

Where do Christmas plants go to become stars?
– Holly-wood!

Why are Christmas trees so fond of the past?
– Why?
– Because the presentโ€™s beneath them.

Why was the little boy so cold on Christmas morning?

– Because it was Decembrrrrr!

What snack should you make for the Snowman Holiday Party?

– Ice Krispy Treats

Jeez, did Santaโ€™s agent turn down a single commercial?

I have decided to leave my past behind me in the New Year, so if I owe you moneyโ€ฆ
– Iโ€™m sorry, but Iโ€™ve moved on

Knock, knock.
– Whoโ€™s there?
– Olive.
– Olive, who?
– Olive the other reindeer.

What does Mrs. Claus say to Santa when there are clouds in the sky?

– It looks like rain, deer.

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