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Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2024

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a watermelon patch?
– >!Melanie!<

Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?
– It was a slaughter melon.

What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?
– A Melon Collie

There are three melon farmers with different marital statuses.
One has a wife and farms honeydew.
The second has a husband and sells watermelon.
– The third cantaloupe.

What do you call a fruit that commits crimes?
– A waterfelon!

How do you get water into a watermelon?
– You plant it…in the spring!

A watermelon proposes to a honeydew melon and says
“honey, I love you and I just can’t wait to get married. Let’s just run off to the farmers market and get it done.”
– And the melon says, “baby I love you too, but I just cantaloupe”

Why won’t anyone sit next to a watermelon?
– They have a strange smelon.

Did you hear about the watermelon that fell inlove with the melon?
– They wanted to get married but they cantaloupe.

Did you hear about the guy who smashed up loads of fruits?
– It was a slaughter melon!

“I wish I had the money to buy a million watermelons…”
“What will you do with a million watermelons?”

– “I don’t want the watermelons, I just want the money.”

What did the fruit write on his Valentine’s card?
– You’re one in a melon!

Did you know that watermelon is only 50% water?
– The other 50% is melon

What do you call a Mailman who only delivers watermelon?
– Post Melone

What is the only time you start at the red and stop at the green?
– When you eat a watermelon!

What do you call a serial killer watermelon?
– A slaughter melon.

Watermelon is 50% water
– The other 50% is melon!

The watermelon is 50% water.
– The other 50% is melon.

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