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Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2022

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a watermelon patch?
– >!Melanie!<

Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?
– It was a slaughter melon.

What’s the difference between a boy watermelon and a girl watermelon?
– One’s seedless, one’s not.

Did you hear about the watermelon who starred in a telanovella?
– It was melondramatic.

John has 20 watermelons and tim has none. John threw one watermelon at tim, what does tim have now?
– A concussion.

When do you start on red and stop on green?
– When you’re eating a watermelon!

Math the only world were you can buy 140 watermelons without your motives being questioned.

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew?
– I’m sorry baby, we just cantaloupe.

What do trains and bicycles have in common?
– You can’t get watermelon juice out of either of them!

What sort of monsters don’t eat the crust?
– I mean it’s fantastic even if it doesn’t taste like the rest of the watermelon

Why are watermelons the saddest fruit?
– They get melancholy.

What’s the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
– A watermelon doesn’t cry when you hit it with a sledgehammer.

When do you go at red and stop at green?
– When you’re eating watermelon!

n the 1970s, as manager of Baskin Robbins’, my mom was tasked to create new flavors related to Richard Nixon…
Her choices, as she told me, were ‘ImPeachments & Cream’ and ‘Watermelon-Gate’ (as a sorbet).
Both were denied.
– This is actually true.

What was the watermelon’s naughty pick-up line?
– Want to see my melons?

If I had a nickel for every watermelon I’ve chucked at my neighbors window.
– I still wouldn’t have enough bail money for a vandalism lawsuit.

What do you call a dog that herds watermelons?
– A Melon Collie

There are three melon farmers with different marital statuses.
One has a wife and farms honeydew.
The second has a husband and sells watermelon.
– The third cantaloupe.

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