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Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2023

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a watermelon patch?
– >!Melanie!<

Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?
– It was a slaughter melon.

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew when it proposed?
– Sorry, I cantaloupe

Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
– It wanted to be a watermelon.

What do you call a watermelon that spends all day at the beauty spa?
– Hottermmelon.

Why did the watermelons ask for permission to get married?
– Because they canteloupe!

What’s the difference between a watermelon and a baby’s head?
– I don’t know! I’m asking you!

Why are watermelons such good entrepreneurs?
– They always have seed money.

How do you get the water in a watermelon?
– Plant it in the spring.

What did the apple write on his Valentine’s card?
– You’re one in a melon!

I have the head of a watermelon, the arms of two French baguettes, the chest of two pillows. What am I?
– Banned from the supermarket.

Whats the difference between a watermelon and a slut?
– The watermelon isn’t as messy when you eat it!

If watermelons are %80 water
– If I stand on one, does it mean I’m %80 Jesus?

Two watermelons fall in love and want to get married.
– Alas, weddings of that variety haven’t been legalised yet meaning they cantaloupe

How are a car and a bicycle similar? You can’t make watermelon juice out of either of them.

What do you do if someone says an onion is the only food that can make them cry?
– Throw a watermelon at their face.

What do you call a Mailman who only delivers watermelon?
– Post Melone!

Where do watermelons and cantaloupes go for the summer?
– John Cougar Mellen-camp

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