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Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2022

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a watermelon patch?
– >!Melanie!<

Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?
– It was a slaughter melon.

What do you call a watermelon in California?
– A melon

John has 20 watermelons and tim has none. John threw one watermelon at tim, what does tim have now?
– A concussion.

Questions on the new quarantine math test
If johnny has 30 watermelons, and is forbidden to contact or interact with any other people for 21 days, how many watermelons is he left with?

How do you get the water in a watermelon?
– Plant it in the spring.

What do you get if you slice a watermelon into 4 pieces?
– A quarter-melon!

Why did the watermelons ask for permission to get married?
– Because they cantaloupe.

What did the father cantaloupe say to his son?
– Watermelon! (Water-my-lawn)

Why do watermelons have such fancy weddings?
– Because they cantaloupe!

What do you call a type of fruit that robs banks?
– A waterfelon!

Why did the watermelon get left at the altar?
– Because his fiance cantelope.

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