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Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2024

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a watermelon patch?
– >!Melanie!<

Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?
– It was a slaughter melon.

Where do watermelons and cantaloupes go for the summer?
– John Cougar Mellen-camp

Why do watermelons take such a long time to make decisions?
– They’re always melon it over.

My friend told me that onions are the only edible plant that can make you cry.
– I bludgeoned his head with a watermelon.

What do you get when you cross a watermelon with broccoli?
– A melon-coli snack!

How does Homer Simpson say watermelon in French?
– Melon D’OH

What do you call fruit that commits egregious crimes?
– a waterfelon.

What’s the difference between a watermelon and a babys head?
– One’s fun to smash with a hammer and the other one tastes good

So a group of cacti walk past a couple of watermelons
The cacti say “wow, nice melons!”
– The watermelons reply “what a bunch of pricks.”

I have a head like a watermelon, the arms like two baguettes, and the body of toilet paper – what am I?
– Banned from the supermarket!

What do you get when you cross a watermelon with broccoli?
– A melon-coli snack!

What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
– Pork rinds!

I pick my women like I pick my watermelon.
– A little rough with a discolored bottom and heavier than the appear.

Why did the watermelon go crazy?
– He lost his rind.

What do you call a disabled gay person?
– A watermelon, because it’s technically both a fruit and a vegetable.

I love it wet, juicy and a nice pink/red color. Sometimes it gets my fingers and face wet and sticky, but I don’t mind. I love Watermelon anyway.

What do you have left after a pig eats a watermelon?
– Pork rinds

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