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Watermelon jokes 🍉 in 2023

What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs in a watermelon patch?
– >!Melanie!<

Did you hear about the guy who smashed all those fruits?
– It was a slaughter melon.

Why did the Honeydew princess stay and marry Duke Watermelon instead of running off with her true love?
– She cantaloupe

Why shouldn’t you go into business with a watermelon?
– They’re seedy.

What did the watermelon say to the honeydew?
– “I’m sorry baby, we just cantaloupe.”

My dog is sad after eating her favorite fruit and getting wet from the juice.
– She’s a watered melancholy watermelon collie.

What type of fruit has babies in a red house, a red house in a white house, and a white house in a green house?
– A watermelon!

How did the watermelon farmer feel after winning the lottery?
– Like a melon bucks!

What did the watermelon say when the honeydew asked it to run away to Vegas and get married?
Sorry I cantaloupe
– I made this up eating a green watermelon

If Jim has 15 watermelons and throws one at Mary, what does Mary have?
– A really bad headache!

When do you go on red and stop on green?
– When you are eating a watermelon.

Why are watermelons so good at gossiping?
– They have all the juice!

Best Worst Joke Ever: How do you get water into a watermelon?
– You plant it…in the spring!

Did you hear about the fruit who was convicted of armed robbery?
– Now he’s a waterfelon.

What do you call a sad watermelon?
– melancholy

As i was walking down the road on a particularly hot day i noticed a rather large lady eating a watermelon in a dress with no underwear on…
– I had to inquire. You exposing yourself to keep cool ? She replied “Nah nah, but it sure does keep the flies off the watermelon.”

Did you hear the joke about the watermelon?
– It’s pit-iful!

Why did the cantaloupe jump into the pool?
– Because she wanted to be a watermelon!

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