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Mustache Jokes in 2022

Doctor, ive tried everything to find love but it just wont work, what else can i do?
-Have you tried shaving your mustache?
Well you should, Karen.

What did the pirate with a beard ask one of the new cruise captains?
-Where did Mo-stash all the treasure?

Some men have a mid-life crisis and end up buying a small car to feel better about themselves.
-Real men grow mustaches and get over it.

I just complimented someone’s mustache
-and suddenly I’m not friends with her anymore. 🙁

What made me less skeptical about growing a mustache?
-Well, the idea started growing on me.

I’ve had a nice handlebar moustache for about a year now, and get a lot of compliments.
-It’s a conversation starter for sure, but once someone says “Hey nice moustache!” I always reply with “Thanks! It’s grown on me.”

When looking for a strong and capable man,
-always look for a man who has a great mustache.

What do you call a mustache soaked in urine?
-A pistachio.

What did the father advise his teenage son?
-You can’t just shave your problems away; you must-ache them.

I was walking down the street, and some guy came up to me and shaved off my mustache!
-He stole it from right under my nose!

Beards at work
-Just a word of advice, if a woman at work asks you “When are you going to shave off that ridiculous mustache?!” Do not reply “When you shave yours!”. It could land you in HR….

The neighbor said to the bearded man, “I think I mustache you a question while eyebrows the wifi?”.
-To this, the guy replied, “Yeah, sure, go ahead, mullet over.”

What do you call a man without a mustache?

I spent years searching for the perfect mustache
-It was right under my nose the whole time.

What did the man tell his teenage son when he was getting late for school?
-It looks like you should shave it for later.

What type of facial hair often has to leave in a hurry?
-A moustache.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
– Mustache who?
I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.

NSFW – a friend of mine told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I asked how he can tell them apart… it’s easy he said
-Her brother has a mustache.

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