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Mustache Jokes in 2024

How come people with mustaches lose them so often?
-They’re hiding right under their noses.

Which snack has a great mustache?
-A pi-stach-io.

What do you call a mustache soaked in urine?
-A pistachio.

What did the father advise his teenage son?
-You can’t just shave your problems away; you must-ache them.

I was walking down the street, and some guy came up to me and shaved off my mustache!
-He stole it from right under my nose!

Beards at work
-Just a word of advice, if a woman at work asks you “When are you going to shave off that ridiculous mustache?!” Do not reply “When you shave yours!”. It could land you in HR….

The neighbor said to the bearded man, “I think I mustache you a question while eyebrows the wifi?”.
-To this, the guy replied, “Yeah, sure, go ahead, mullet over.”

What do you call a man without a mustache?
-Jealous.

I spent years searching for the perfect mustache
-It was right under my nose the whole time.

What did the man tell his teenage son when he was getting late for school?
-It looks like you should shave it for later.

What type of facial hair often has to leave in a hurry?
-A moustache.

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Mustache.
– Mustache who?
I mustache you a question, but I’ll shave it for later.

NSFW – a friend of mine told me he’s getting it on with his girlfriend and her twin. I asked how he can tell them apart… it’s easy he said
-Her brother has a mustache.

What did the teenage guy say when he was eagerly waiting for his mustache and beard to grow?
– I wish you were hair.

An Eskimo goes to the mechanic
-the mechanic says “It looks like you blew a seal.” and the Eskimo says “No, that’s just frost on my mustache.”

There’s a knock at the door
The butler goes and answers the door.
-“Sir, there’s a man at the door with a mustache.”
“I’m not interested, tell him I’ve already got one!”

Movember’s here.
-It’s mustache season all over again.

How do you tell the difference between a man with a mustache and a man without a mustache?
– The man with a mustache is the attractive one.

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