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Kidney jokes in 2023

I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery
– hashtag nofilter

My ex-wife passed away so I went to the cemetery to honor her. I brought a 20 year old bottle of fine scotch and poured it over her grave
– But first I filtered it through my kidneys.

Found a cure for kidney stone.
– Eat paper.

The doctor today told me I had kidney stones.
– It really rocked my world.

What did the kidney stone say to the man?
– Urine trouble.

(Navy Joke) why do chiefs hate kidney stones ?
– It clogs the P ways

What do you call your kidneys once you turn 18?
– Adult-neys ROFL

Nurse: Doctor, I have organized the list of donor’s hearts, livers, kidneys in alphabetical order
– Doctor: Wow, its very *organ-ized*

How many kidneys do kids have?
– 4! They have 2 kidneys and 2 kid knees

Thanos goes to his urologist.
– The urologist says, “Congrats Thanos, you now also have the kidney stone”

In case you ever have a urine test.
-The answer is urine comes from kidneys.

If someone asks you to make them lunch and you put kidneys and liver in a pita…
– Did you just make them an organ donair?

England doesn’t have a kidney bank
– But they do have a Liverpool.

What do you call a gay guy’s kidney stones?
– Fruity pebbles

What’s a kidneys favorite type of music?
– Organ music!

What’s 120 pinto beans plus 120 kidney beans?
– Two-farty

Parents are like kidneys
– It’s ok with one but having two is the best.

My doctor told me I had kidney stones, but that I shouldn’t worry, because…
– This, too, shall pass

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