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Kidney jokes in 2023

I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery
– hashtag nofilter

My ex-wife passed away so I went to the cemetery to honor her. I brought a 20 year old bottle of fine scotch and poured it over her grave
– But first I filtered it through my kidneys.

What did the kidney stone say to the man?
– Urine trouble.

During an autopsy, why are the heart, kidneys, liver and lungs arranged alphabetically?
So they are organ-ized.

Parents are like kidneys
– It’s ok with one but having two is the best.

Found a cure for kidney stone.
– Eat paper.

What did the kidney say to the other kidney when it failed?
– Urine trouble now.

(Navy Joke) why do chiefs hate kidney stones ?
– It clogs the P ways

What do you call your kidneys once you turn 18?
– Adult-neys ROFL

Are you my uncles kidney?
– Because you’re a failure.

Where did the heart, liver, and kidney go on a road trip?
– Oregon

I donate 1 kidney to a hospital and everyone thinks I am a hero
– I donate 10 kidneys and everyone thinks I am a monster

The doctor today told me I had kidney stones.
– It really rocked my world.

I donated a kidney last year
– They still want to know where i got it from

If you donate a kidney, everybody loves you and you’re a total hero.
– But try donating five kidneys and suddenly everyone is yelling and the police get involved.

Hey guys, who is kidney…
– And what test is he failing?

I donate 1 kidney to a hospital and everyone thinks I am a hero
– I donate 10 kidneys and everyone thinks I am a monster

If someone asks you to make them lunch and you put kidneys and liver in a pita…
– Did you just make them an organ donair?

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