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Painting jokes 🎨🖼️🖌️ in 2023

My friend covered their walls with whiteboard paint
– I’ve never seen something so remarkable

If you tell a painter his art is bad,
– he usually gets the picture.

I don’t like to use painting softwares
– Because it is Electronic Arts

I was spray painting a side table when I noticed my first coat was really patchy…
– I thought to myself, “well this can is past its prime”

Luckily I had another can that was primer.

The painters
– I just got my house painted, and they gave me a bill that said $0.
I asked them, “Why aren’t you charging me for the paint?”
They said, “Don’t worry about it, it’s on the house.”

Do you know what a painter draws before he goes to bed?
– Curtains.

How many babies do you need to paint a wall?
– Depends on how hard you throw.

Tell a man there are 300 Billion stars in the universe and he’ll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it.
– … and he’ll have to touch to be sure.

People ask why I never finish my paintings
– I remind them I am a black belt in partial arts!

How do painters stay warm?
– They add another coat.

Why did Degas take so long in the toilet?
– He was consti-painted.

There’s been an explosion at the paint factory where my brother works.
– He’s missing, presumed red.

How do you know a painting’s innocent?
– Cause it was framed.

I was spray painting a side table when I noticed my first coat was really patchy…
– I thought to myself, “well this can is past its prime”

Luckily I had another can that was primer.

What do you call a surrealist painter that converts to Islam?
– Muhammad Dali

The painter had his house mostly messed up.
– He said it was a work-in-progress.

I asked my handyman why did he paint my staircase white
– He was indeed puzzled. The only thing I got from him is a blank stair

What’s the name of that painting in the louvre that you get arrested for touching?
– I can’t quite put my finger on it.

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