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Microbiologist Jokes 👩‍🔬🦠 in 2022

Why are microbiologists always so happy?
– Because they look at the little things in life

Our favorite bumper sticker:
– “Support bacteria; it is the only culture we have left.”

What did the male stamen say to the female pistil?
– I like your “style.”

What is the only thing worse than a mecium?
– A paramecium.

I was counting the money in my wallet and I remembered my microbiologist friend saying that money is the dirtiest thing you can touch all day. Turns out I have $144 in cash,
– But I guess that’s just gross….

What is blood’s message to the world?
– B positive.

Why did the paramecium cross the road?
– He was stuck to the chicken’s butt.

What did the femur say to the patella?
– “I kneed you.”

Biology professor: “Hello, class. Today we will be learning about the liver and the pancreas.”
– Biology student: “Ugh, I hate organ recitals.”

Girl, you’re so hot you denature my proteins.

Why did the bacteria make fun of the protozoan?
– He brought toilet paper to the crap game.

Why did the amoeba cross the road?
– It was time to split.

How did the English major define microtome on his biology exam?
– As an itsy bitsy book.

Why are environmentalists bad at playing cards?
– They like to avoid the flush.

Where did the microbiologist go after receiving his PhD?
– …to a cell-laboratory gathering

What would you call the scientific study of real estate?
– Homology.

Why should people date microbiologists?
– They’re well cultured.

What do you call an amoeba that crosses the road, jumps in a mud puddle and crosses the road again?
– A dirty double-crosser.

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