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Cookie Jokes 🍪 in 2023

What do you call a metric cookie?
– A gram cracker.

US websites use cookies to track you
– British websites use biscuits

– >!French websites use croissants!<

Website: We use cookies to improve performance.
– Me: Same

Why do basketball players love cookies?
– Because they can dunk them.

What is Homer Simpson’s favorite ice cream?
– Cookie d’oh.

I just ate 12 cookies.

– Now I feel a bit crumby!

Son: Mom can I have a cookie?
– Dad: Son, you’re Australian, call your mother by the appropriate name.

– Son: Ok Dad. Hey Wow! Can I have a cookie?

Did you hear about mrs. fortune cookies divorce?
– Now shes misfortune cookie.

The other cookie screams,
– “Ahhh! A talking cookie!”

What do you call a passed out cookie?
– Limp biscuit.

I was bitten by a venomous snake.

– Fortunately, my uncle’s wife gave me a bunch of money, cookies, and gifts.

– I was glad to have the auntie dote.

Two cookies are getting ready for their fight
– “Lets get ready to crrrrrrummmbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee”

Me: Three scoops of Cookie Dough in a tub, please.
– Vendor: You wanna spoon?

– Me: … OK, what time do you get off?

Raisin Cookies That Look Like Chocolate Chip Cookies
– Are The Reason I Have Trust Issues !

Why was the cookie so angry with the baker?
– He had a chip on his shoulder.

Why was the cookie crying?

– Because his mom was a wafer so long.

My fortune cookie said my dreams would become reality
– Great…

– So, I’ll be in my underwear at school, late for a class I can’t find, and my teeth will fall out.

– Thanks, fortune cookie.

My wife just got done making some cookie dough.
– Wife: “Do you want to lick clean one of the beaters?”
– Me: “Does it have raw egg in it?”
– Wife: “It does…”
– Me: “Well, I could get sick… But that’s a whisk I’m willing to take.”

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