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Gardening jokes 👨‍🌾🌳✂️🌱 in 2023

What is brown and runs round the garden?
– A fence

“Gardening requires lots of water – most of it in the form of perspiration.”

Why did my garden owner decide to retire after having bad headaches?
– Because he was sick of my grains.

What do you call a cheerleading herb?
– An encourage mint!

What do you call a flower that glows in the dark?
– A light bulb.

How do plants actually practice self-care?
– By trying to weed out all the unnecessary drama!

What do you call a stolen yam?
– A hot potato.

I started growing some fungi in my garden, but it failed miserably
– I guess there is mushroom for improvement

Why shouldn’t you tell a secret in a garden?
– Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!

What vegetables you might find in your basement?
– Cellar-y.

Do you know how a flower gives an ultimatum?
– She tells everything once and floral.

A toddler who was found chewing on a slug. After the initial surge of disgust the parent said, “Well, what does it taste like?” “Worms,” was the reply.

Why do gardeners plant bulbs?
– So that the worms can see where they are going.

What did the gardener say at Thanksgiving dinner?
– Lettuce be thankful for garden jokes.

Why was cucumber so mad?
– Because it was in a pickle.

How do trees get online?
– They just log-in.

“No man in the world has more courage than the man who can stop after eating one peanut.”

What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
– Pumpkin pi

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