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Gardening jokes 👨‍🌾🌳✂️🌱 in 2022

“Bulb: potential flower buried in Autumn, never to be seen again.”

How long does it take for a gardening business to flourish?
– You have to give it some thyme.

What did the big flower say to the little flower?
– What’s up, bud?!

What is an amnesiac gardener’s favorite flower?
– Forget-me-nots.

On what do chickens normally grow on?
– Eggplants!

“I do not like broccoli. And I haven’t liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it.
– And I’m President of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli.”

So my neighbour sees me kneeling down, busy in my garden and asks what I’m doing
– “I’m putting alll my plants in alphabetical order”
– “Really?! I don’t know how you find the time!”
– “It’s right next to the sage”

I used to have a job making furniture out of plants
– I’ll tell you, it was no bed of roses.

How did the banana style her hair?
– In bunches.

Why do flowers always drive so fast?
– Because they can easily put the petal to the metal.

“My mother’s menu consisted of two choices: Take it or leave it.”

How do you actually make an apple puff?
– By chasing it around the garden.

What was lettuce told to do at a garden party?
– To turnip the beet.

What name would be given to an angry pea?
– Grump-pea!

Why do trees have so many friends?
– Because they branch out.

“Every garden is unique with a multitude of choices in soils, plants and themes.
– Finding your garden theme is as easy as seeing what brings a smile to your face.”

Why did the gardener quit?
– His celery wasn’t high enough

What did the cucumber say when he saw the plane?
– Cor-jet!

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