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Knee jokes 🦵 in 2024

Mickley Mouse: “My knee hurts!”
Doctor: “Which knee?”
Mickey: “Disney.”

That pony has such long legs, knee-haw!

A football player goes to the doctor and says “It hurts when I touch my face, elbow and knee.” The doctor says,
– “You’ve broken your finger”

My knees are getting really worn down..
– They’re on their last legs

What happened when the knee surgery was unsuccessful on the patient?
– The patient said he was doing fine with a tone of iro-knee!

If tennis players get tennis elbow, and squash players get squash knees, what do gynecologists get?
– Tunnel Vision

Tiger Woods issues statement to Reddit regarding tasteless comments about his emergency knee surgery in r/Jokes.
– “I won’t stand for this”

What would you call a knee that cannot keep its cool before a knee replacement surgery?
– You get to call it pa-knee-c!

A priest is giving a young nun a lift home one day.
– As he’s shifting gears, he rests his hand on the nun’s knee. The nun looks up at the priest and says, “Father, remember Luke 14:10.” The priest withdraws his hand embarrassed. Next time they stop at light, he places his hand a little higher up on her thigh, again the nun says, “Remember Luke 14:10, Father.” The priest apologizes. “The flesh is weak,” he says.

When he drops her off, he reaches for his bible and he flips to Luke 14:10. Do you know what it says? — “Friend, come up higher, then thou shalt have glory.”

Help Requested
– A man walks into a sperm bank and declares, “I’m a star athlete, and have an I.Q. of 165, and I’d like to make a donation.” The nurse gives him a sealed cup and directs him to a private room.

Twenty minutes later, the man hasn’t come out, the nurse knocks on the door. “Is there a problem?” The man says, “I’m so embarrassed. I used my right hand. I used my left hand. I poured cold water on it and hot water on it. Could you help me?” The nurse replied, “I don’t usually do this, but you are kind of cute.” She gets on her knees and begins gratify him orally.

“I really appreciate this,” said the man, “but I need help getting the cap off the jar.”

Why did Eminem kneel at the half time show?
– His knees were weak, and arms were heavy.

Babies are born with 4 kidneys.
– When they grow up, 2 of them turn into adult knees.

Literally on her knees…
A: I heard you were in an argument with your wife last night.
B: Yeah, we did. It’s pretty rough actually.
A: How did it turn out?
B: Eventually I made her on her knees.
A: You did? And she said?
B: She told me, ‘get out from under that bed, I know you’re in there!’

What is the kind of pizza that knee surgery experts love having?
– They like to get the peppero-knee pizza!

A man is rushed into the emergency room, exclaiming that someone dressed as Mickey Mouse had broken his knee.
“Which knee?” Says the doctor
The man, pointing at his right leg, says “dis knee!”

What do you call the nation of people who scratch their knees?
Thank you and good night

What should one be calling a knee that bees like to sit on?
– You call it a ho-knee!

What is the kind of Italian food that all knee surgery experts like to get as lunch?
– They like to get macaro-knee!

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