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Knee jokes 🦵 in 2023

Mickley Mouse: “My knee hurts!”
Doctor: “Which knee?”
Mickey: “Disney.”

I asked my physician why he hits people on the knee with that little rubber headed hammer
– He said “just for kicks”

“Why have you got those marks on your knees?”
her friend asked.
“Oh, it’s making love, doggie style.”
“Well, why don’t you change positions?”
“I’m willing, but the dog isn’t.”

A man gets a phone call from the hospital…
He finds out his wife has been in a bad car accident and is in critical condition. So he immediately stops what he’s doing and rushes to the hospital as fast as he can.
When he gets to the waiting room, he frantically asks the doctor, “Where is my wife? Is she okay? What happened?”
The doctor says, “I’m sorry, sir, but I’m afraid I have some bad news. The accident was more serious than we originally thought. Your wife will be crippled from the neck down. You’ll have to feed her, bathe her, and change her because she has no control over her bladder or bowels for the rest of her life.”
Hearing the news, the man falls to his knees and starts crying hysterically, “This is horrible!”
And the doctor starts laughing, “I’m just messing with you! She’s dead.”

What should we be calling a thirteen-year-old knee?
– You can get to call it tee-knee!

Why was the patient’s knee not working well after the knee replacement surgery?
– Because it had declared muti-knee against the patient!

Still feeling foggy after the knee operation? Must be the an-knee-sthetic!

Why did the man with the bad knee go to the mathematician?
– Because his knees were giving him problems he couldn’t solve.

What do you say when all the knee surgery experts are having a get-together?
– It may be said that they are having a pic-knee-c!

A Jewish man’s son decides he is going to convert to Christianity….
– The father is quite distressed about this, and decides to ask a Jewish friend of his for advice.”It’s funny you should come to me,” his friend says, “because my son did the same thing, not even a month after moving out on his own. I was probably more upset than you seem to be, but I eventually realized that he’s always going to be my son, no matter what faith he follows. He still celebrates the high holidays with us, and we’ll sometimes visit his house for Christmas, and if anything, I might say it’s made our family stronger.”The father goes home and thinks on this, but he still can’t help himself from continuing to be upset, no matter what he says to himself in his head. So he goes to talk to his rabbi about it.”It’s funny you should come to me,” the rabbi begins, “because my son became a Christian when he went off to college. Wanted to become an Anglican priest, he did! Whether I like it or not, though, he’s still my son, my flesh and blood, and I couldn’t stop loving him for a thing like that. It also means that when we talk about God together, he brings a perspective I might not hear otherwise, and in some ways I’m glad it happened.”The father goes home to think on this, and still, all he wants to do is yell and scream at his son for what he’s doing. So he gets down on his knees and prays, saying, “Lord, help me out. My son is becoming a Christian, and I feel like it’s tearing my family apart. I don’t know what to do. Help me out, Lord.”And he hears God reply, “It’s funny you should come to me…”

My niece calls me her ankle. I call her my knees
– We are a joint family

What’s a leg’s favorite hat?
– A knee cap!

Doctor has a question.
– He asks if I’d like to be a kidney donor. I tell him “Doc, I’m all grown up now. I have adult knees, I don’t think that’ll work.”

How do you describe a person’s knees that are very sharp?
– say they are like a knee-dle!

What did the knee father sweetly call the knee boy?
– “Son-knee, come here please!”

I have a scar on my knee. It was made from scratch.

Why does my brother always attack my knees playfully?
– Well, he really gets a kick out of it.

What is the old group of knee surgeons from the medical school called?
– They are called the AlumKnee association!

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